religionbites621
United States
Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Jo
United States
Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some loser's car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML
Anonymous
United States
Bashed
Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML
Atheist
Portland, United States
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
ThreeMoreYears
Jesus, take the wheel
Today, during my religion class, my instructor decided to use the state of the class's cars as a metaphor for our relationship with God. When I told him my car had been totalled in an accident last week, he yelled at me for being an "agent of Satan." One class down, 59 to go. FML
Username
France
Today, I was woken by the news that my car had been found, but was completely destroyed due to a fire. I didn't even know my car was missing. FML
whatthewoah
United States
Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML
charliebravo77
United States
Slippery
Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss's car. FML
really?!
Troll level 3000
Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML
spyrogers1677
Ottawa, Canada
Grave error
Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML
munchkin
France
Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML
Top comments
MattRoseen 12
The power of Christ compells you!
Mahomie123 0
Jesus is falling from the heavens.. lol
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
lordEast 6
At least you did some go their whole lives without finding god lol
kidtalk96 10
I think He is trying to tell you something
luvmerh8me 0
Must b a sign from god!
TheHardwick3 7
Can you sue Jesus or will it be during god if it is possible take heaven then turn it into private property and party everyday
purplishzebraz 0
It's prbly a sign that you should convert to Christianity ......
terrask 11
Just where was that car parked......................
2dog 15
Ohhh, that's awkward!!!
perdix 31
Hit by a graven image!
nick268 4
That should teach you not to take his name in vein, and you thought your grandmother was making it up
DJEZON_fml 0
To bad there is NO GOD but there is a Yahweh lol ATHIESM ALL THE WAY
Xxak907xX 0
**** YEAH! Atheism FTW!!