religionbites621
United States
Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Jo
United States
Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some loser's car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML
Anonymous
United States
Bashed
Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML
Atheist
Portland, United States
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
ThreeMoreYears
Jesus, take the wheel
Today, during my religion class, my instructor decided to use the state of the class's cars as a metaphor for our relationship with God. When I told him my car had been totalled in an accident last week, he yelled at me for being an "agent of Satan." One class down, 59 to go. FML
Username
France
Today, I was woken by the news that my car had been found, but was completely destroyed due to a fire. I didn't even know my car was missing. FML
whatthewoah
United States
Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML
charliebravo77
United States
Slippery
Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss's car. FML
really?!
Troll level 3000
Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML
spyrogers1677
Ottawa, Canada
Grave error
Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML
munchkin
France
Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML
Top comments
MattRoseen 12
The power of Christ compells you!
Mahomie123 0
Jesus is falling from the heavens.. lol
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Comments (139)
Person1233 13
You may not have felt the love of Jesus, but your car certainly did. If in the future you lose control of that car and crash into a church, it's trying to tell you something.
perdix 31
Yet another sign you need to stop masturbating!
bizarre_ftw 22
What were the others?
Julieannx3 9
Maybe he saved you from a car wreck OP.
AlexRen 21
Jesus second coming .
screamo_neve 12
We've heard this for thousands of years. It's not happening. *bring on the thumbs down* Also no need to argue. It's a website, people post their opinions all of the time.
TipOfTheHat 10
Pimp my ride! The new Jesus mobile! Complete with concrete statue!
sirhobothesecond 3
Did anybody else check OP's profile to see if they were from Rio de Janeiro?
Thisismypchere 8
2*3?2*37
lil00shadow 0
may the power of christ compel you!!
jam531 3
Maybe it's a sign
anencephalic 14
Maybe it's just a concrete stature.
daisyismydog 3
Hallelujah.