Today, my entire family sat down in the living room to watch... - FML

By red button - 11/2/2009 19:24 - United States

Today, my entire family sat down in the living room to watch the video I recorded of my sister's graduation from college. I never pressed record. FML

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Assumptions

Night terrors

Sister of the year

By Anonymous - 8/6/2019 16:00

Today, I found our that my crazy ex, who, after our break up, said to me, "I'm setting my life to make yours hell" has befriended my current girlfriend. FML

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By Kurt's Dad - 15/5/2019 16:04

Today, during my grandmother's funeral, my talented ten-year-old son found the church organ and began playing Smells Like Teen Spirit. FML

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By crapules - 23/12/2008 04:18 - France

Today, my boss asked me, "Can I give you some constructive criticism?" I said yes. He told me, "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

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By Anonymous - 14/8/2020 20:03

Minefield

Today, my cat pissed on my bed, so I had to change the sheets. Just as I got out of bed and take my first step, I stepped in my cat's poop as well and slipped, spraining my ankle. FML

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By SakuraBreeze - 26/9/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML

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By drymouth - 17/6/2016 23:51 - United States - Berkeley

Today, my boss brought us some small cakes from a recent trip to China. I opened mine and noticed a little foil packet wrapped with the cake, so I thought it was a powdered topping. I had a couple of bites before my coworker told me it was actually a desiccant to keep the cakes fresh. FML

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By firefly02255 - 1/10/2019 14:00 - United States

Bullseye

Today, some troopers forced my family out of our house with no shoes or enough clothing. Even the baby was half naked. We were told we can't go back for at least another 12 hours. Why? Because my mental neighbor was shooting at the house. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/4/2018 01:30

Today, my boyfriend decided to fart in our bathtub to see if it would echo. It wasn’t a fart. FML

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By Abrams52 - 28/5/2013 05:44 - United States - Fishers

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

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By katybaby - 9/12/2010 17:15 - United States

Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML

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By Shrek's Pubes - 22/5/2019 20:00

Today, I tried to dye my hair blonde. Turns out, green hair doesn't suit me. FML

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By hail science - 10/9/2019 00:01

Today, I found out that my mother, who's been against me seeking treatment for my cancer, has been going to different churches and charities to get donations for her "poor ailing daughter." I've not seen a dime of this money, and my mom just tells me to pray my cancer away. FML

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By I hate children - 18/8/2014 12:10 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

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By KereKris - 1/12/2016 19:18

Today, I wrote a bad review for a pizza place after their pizza gave me food poisoning. Now, they won't stop calling me, begging me to take my review down in exchange for free pizza. I have tried to tell them that I wouldn't eat their pizza again even if I got paid to do so, but they won't listen. FML

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By Ihatemylife - 3/3/2013 12:17 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

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By worried - 1/4/2010 08:28 - Ireland

Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML

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By inalotofpain - 16/4/2011 12:46 - United States

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

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By Robert - 6/4/2018 05:00 - United States - North Pole

Today, my high school speech therapist introduced me to the other autistic kid in school without fully informing either of us. We got into a fist fight because we each thought the other guy was imitating us. FML

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By me. - 1/12/2012 14:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

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By rc2981 - 13/6/2014 10:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, artwork that I had been working on for months was destroyed, leaving me almost in tears. The culprit? A lonely pigeon who'd got into the room and shat all over it. FML

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By bluedevil26 - 3/3/2009 16:51 - United States

Today, I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time in a few months. Once she finished, she handed me the mirror and asked, "How does it feel to look human again?" FML

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By Deadman - 2/4/2012 13:37 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/5/2009 10:44 - Malaysia

Today, one of my teachers asked me to babysit their kids saturday night. She didn't forget that it was Prom night, she was going to chaperone it. My teacher assumed I wasn't invited to Prom... I wasn't. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/1/2010 10:45 - Canada

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

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By anonya - 28/8/2012 04:43 - United States - Madera

Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML

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By Ladieda - 28/5/2012 10:15 - Netherlands - Apeldoorn

Today, my parents think it's so hot outside that it's okay for them to work in the garden naked. FML

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By ellieinc - 8/8/2016 03:39 - United States - Stacy

Today, my boyfriend bought me Cards Against Humanity because he thinks it would give me some motivation to make friends since I only have one and need three to play. Sad thing is, he's right. FML

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By waterspike - 29/1/2010 13:18 - France

Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML

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By bluewinter - 23/5/2009 10:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my best friend's birthday party. After about 15 minutes, I noticed a girl, possibly one of his sister's friends, wearing the same shirt as me. I am a 23 year old bloke. She didn't look a day over 14. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/7/2009 16:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML

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By cantfallbackasleep - 22/10/2015 14:05 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was called a ruthless bitch for not waking up early to search for my car keys, so my boyfriend could go get his pipe and get high before work. FML

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By Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet - 26/9/2015 01:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML

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By death bed - 13/2/2013 17:20 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, I finished my shift at the nursing home. There was too much snow on the roads, so most of us had to stay overnight. Not only did I not get to go home, I also got stuck sleeping in the same bed that a resident had died in the night before. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/1/2016 08:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/5/2012 11:49 - United States

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/11/2013 01:09 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

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By Anonymous - 8/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Long Beach

Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

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By andrea99 - 3/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/8/2012 19:50 - United States

Today, I called in to my girlfriend's favorite radio station to propose. After spending what seemed like an eternity telling her how much I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, she took a deep breath, said, "How about no?" and hung up. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/9/2011 15:12 - Canada

Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that includes the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML

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Top comments

By no_problems | 0

#1492 - Thursday 12 February 2009 5:50

honestly you watch that video once and never again.
so it sucks but at least it wasn't a wedding video or something like that.

By Starcadia | 0

#628610 - Tuesday 20 October 2009 2:35

You know there was a teacher who forgot to press record for an educational program to show to his pupils...

The track he forgot to record over just so happened to be him fucking his neighbours dog... True story.

COMMENTS

By mleugim | 0

#1410 - Wednesday 11 February 2009 23:45

q risa ... XD

By no_problems | 0

#1492 - Thursday 12 February 2009 5:50

honestly you watch that video once and never again.
so it sucks but at least it wasn't a wedding video or something like that.

By pewpz | 0

#20808 - Sunday 8 March 2009 4:49

That's an easy mistake to make, so don't beat yourself up about it... #4 is right

By y_2_me | 0

#31252 - Saturday 14 March 2009 15:04

yes yes but what nobody takes into account is the fact that your sister is really plexico LOOOOL

By homeboy2k7 | 0

#222143 - Saturday 23 May 2009 5:26

^^^
shut up

By dearViena | 0

#236784 - Wednesday 27 May 2009 20:30

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

By libbypotpie | 0

#302375 - Sunday 14 June 2009 1:25

Oh sucky poop...sounds like what happened to me. i accidentally erased my sisters entire graduation, because i was trying to watch another video on the camera......My sister didnt even a chance to watch it..haaaaaa..ahh...

By jake1246 | 0

#345448 - Saturday 27 June 2009 7:51

it could happen to any of us.

By Andyangels27 | 0

#471514 - Sunday 9 August 2009 10:32

fuck sisters and graduations they're both shitty and annoying

Reply

teentee401 | 36

#5479440 - Sunday 5 May 2013 16:02

I'm guessing you
A) Had an older or younger sibling who got more love than you did
B) Weren't hugged enough as a child
C) All of the above

By myu_fml | 0

#541707 - Saturday 5 September 2009 21:40

Good one, I think I would of been killed after this kinda scru-up.., it's a total fail anyway :D:D

Reply

stitesy29 | 18

#5644152 - Monday 26 August 2013 10:03

Your english
It sucks