Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I started my new job. I went to microwave food, only to discover roaches and ants crawling out of it. Now I am grossed out but still hungry. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML
Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Did it come with a side order of Chicken Flied Lice, too? That would bug me.
worldclassrager 41
Oh good lord...that's disgusting... Hope you can get a refund....
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Comments (71)
kenleybunch 15
Never eating take out again.... Commencing now. Who am I kidding? I'm just going to inspect my food heavily now.
capthigh 16
hahaha this is my exactly what I thought
ziya1999 12
Despicable. Complain to restaurants manager, its a real offense to serve roaches.
disturbedrox11 17
my biggest fear. that sounds terrifying.
z0mBi3kiTTy 18
My first thought was that you were talking about the good roach to stumble upon, not the insect!
capthigh 16
it's really hard to read this FML and the comments since this bug that I can't type out and shall remain nameless is my BIGGEST fear even being in the same house as them causes me to break down in tears if this ever happened to me I don't know what I'd do with myself FYL OP
eatmor2 9
"Takeaway" what the hell is that? You mean takeout?
cameronhollywood 2
I have one word for the restaurant CONDEMED
knotcool 15
I misunderstood the FML. I thought OP meant the OTHER kind of roach, which would be a lot less unpleasant, lol.
Patrick_Poptarts 13
In America we call it takeout. At least they didn't make you pay for the roach!
telli164 30
Oh man, that's so ****** up, roaches are the #1 enemy!