Miscellaneous: Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt... - FML

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 277

You deserved it 3 661

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Same thing different taste

By Foufinator - 04/10/2009 19:33 - France

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 129

You deserved it 3 558

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 949

You deserved it 4 785

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 176

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 085

You deserved it 3 651

By wellesleybanana - 17/04/2009 18:43 - United States

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 219

You deserved it 4 680

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 015

You deserved it 2 642

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 14:30 - United States - Fpo

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 704

You deserved it 6 826

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 267

You deserved it 4 592

By cockroach - 27/09/2009 15:52 - United States

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 320

You deserved it 16 744

Hi guys

By unemployed - 11/07/2016 19:09 - United States - Modesto

Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 255

You deserved it 804

Next

Top comments

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:18

Did it come with a side order of Chicken Flied Lice, too? That would bug me.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:17

Oh good lord...that's disgusting... Hope you can get a refund....

Comments

kenleybunch 15

Saturday 8 February 2014 3:26

Never eating take out again.... Commencing now. Who am I kidding? I'm just going to inspect my food heavily now.

capthigh 16

Saturday 8 February 2014 5:07

hahaha this is my exactly what I thought

ziya1999 12

Saturday 8 February 2014 3:35

Despicable. Complain to restaurants manager, its a real offense to serve roaches.

disturbedrox11 17

Saturday 8 February 2014 4:18

my biggest fear. that sounds terrifying.

z0mBi3kiTTy 18

Saturday 8 February 2014 4:37

My first thought was that you were talking about the good roach to stumble upon, not the insect!

capthigh 16

Saturday 8 February 2014 5:13

it's really hard to read this FML and the comments since this bug that I can't type out and shall remain nameless is my BIGGEST fear even being in the same house as them causes me to break down in tears if this ever happened to me I don't know what I'd do with myself FYL OP

eatmor2 9

Saturday 8 February 2014 5:45

"Takeaway" what the hell is that? You mean takeout?

cameronhollywood 2

Saturday 8 February 2014 6:50

I have one word for the restaurant CONDEMED

knotcool 15

Saturday 8 February 2014 7:33

I misunderstood the FML. I thought OP meant the OTHER kind of roach, which would be a lot less unpleasant, lol.

Patrick_Poptarts 13

Saturday 8 February 2014 8:52

In America we call it takeout. At least they didn't make you pay for the roach!

telli164 30

Saturday 8 February 2014 9:29

Oh man, that's so ****** up, roaches are the #1 enemy!

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The Top

Today, my sister is furious with me and said i will never see my nieces again. Last weekend, while I babysat for her, I taught them the meaning of veganism and animal rights, even showing them a few videos about the meat and dairy industry, and how the animals are kept and treated. Now she won’t speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 3 520

Today, I took my hoodie off in public and my shirt accidentally lifted up with it. I've had bad skin problems since I was 12 or 13, and my chest looks horrific as a result. Everyone in my vicinity reacted with horror and called me all sorts of awful names. Nice to know that my appearance makes me that repulsive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, my 35 year-old son accidentally texted me a dick pic that was meant for his Tinder date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 205

Today, I cleaned the two staircases at the hotel where I work. Five minutes later, someone complained they were dirty. Someone had dropped soda and got mud all over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 65

Today, I went to my husband’s work party where employees could bring a plus one. There, I met the colleague he talks so much about. She looked noticeably disappointed and said to my husband, “Wife?! You told me you were single!” We’ve been married for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 323

You deserved it 100

Today, my boyfriend blackmailed me for nudes. When I told his mother, he convinced her it was a joke, and both were laughing at me for being "paranoid". He now wants me to apologise for "ruining his day". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 201

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 555

You deserved it 9 317

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 720

You deserved it 7 167