Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I started my new job. I went to microwave food, only to discover roaches and ants crawling out of it. Now I am grossed out but still hungry. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML
Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Did it come with a side order of Chicken Flied Lice, too? That would bug me.
worldclassrager 41
Oh good lord...that's disgusting... Hope you can get a refund....
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Comments (71)
mominzed 19
That is why wholesome, home-prepared food is the best!
jadeystram 3
It's seriously not that hard to realize that takeaways is the same as takeout. Away from the store or out of the store same shit guys. Why is everyone (Americans) so confused. It's like we're speaking a whole different language or something looking at the comments.
Soliloquy93 14
I can't think of a worse way to find a cockroach... my deepest sympathies.
SeahawksnationxD 7
YDI. You should have noticed it was there....
beautiful_hope 16
That is the most disgusting thing I've ever read. Honest to God. I'd probably go rinse my mouth out with acid & then shoot myself. Roaches are the most disgusting thing on this planet. I'd literally rather eat shit.
JustStella 28
Hmmm, interesting. In this game of "Would You Rather", I'd pick the roach in a heartbeat.
underguarded 20
Well, I was eating..
LuapMere 11
How'd it taste?
suewtsn 3
I would never eat again.
SoreJohnson 4
Were you the one who got shot at by the owner of the Chinese restaurant for the cockroach egg roll?
savlk 1
One time my mom bit into a burrito and got a mouth full of not only roach, but it's eggs as well.