By Unknown - 07/02/2014 14:18 - United States - Lamoni

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks 59 578
You deserved it 21 359
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Top comments

macystar 14

Well, look on the bright side. Technically you're still a virgin. So she can still be your first.

407 0

Comments

poncho55 40

Your comment is 10 million times better coming from Edward Elric.

40 6
dachayke 16

What does matter is that you're thread jacking.

21 4
Catkam623 27

Does anyone else think this sounds extremely like blue mountain state?

3 5
macystar 14

Well, look on the bright side. Technically you're still a virgin. So she can still be your first.

407 0
ManaComa 7

After seeing him make love to the couch, she won't be wanting him any time soon.

97 3
FangirlingAlways 14

Well maybe she won't remember. She was a bit drunk.

74 4
buttcramp 21

yeah and at least it felt good, right?

2 36
RpiesSPIES 27

If sex with a couch counts, the I guess Iii--ther people wouldn't be virgins, anymore...

8 18
Kyuzomi 12

That's pretty funny. Just laugh it off, don't think too much about it. You could think that at least it was her couch, so you lost it to something of hers.

137 4
Morqan_Freeman 14

"Uh yeah I lost my virginity to Couch. She was really nice, didn't complain except for a few squeaks and did I mention how soft she was?"

98 4
killinpoptarts 9

More cushion for the pushin... Quite literally

96 1
laurenasabutton 26

Was it as good for you as it was for the couch?

196 2
sterling1113 15

Guess what I'm gonna be thinking of every time I hear "**** yo couch." It's okay OP. You were intoxicated, and you'll laugh about it later. :)

126 4
misicblaster 12

Yes. Yes it is. It's like just saying '**** you' but it's used as more of a joke you would say to a friend. At least that's how I've heard it used.

12 2
smokecloud_ 37

Dave Chapelle. Rick James. **** YO COUCH!! Dammit I need my cable back.

11 2
ada0 1

I'm sure worse things have happened, dont let it get to you :)

13 3
Lang88 13

At least you finally lost it. Look on the bright side.

5 39
girlrome 19

Lost his mind, you mean? Because it can't be his virginity you're talking about.

42 1
xxwhyxx 9

At least there was cushion for the pushing

90 2
zaise_chsa 19

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
6 57
hotPinklipstick 24

Crap I replied to the wrong comment. Thumbs down :(

1 28
gracehi 31

You know how they say "Don't drink and drive?" Well, don't drink and bone.

20 49
AFCCT 7

As a guy, I can say booze helps us gents last longer. With whiskey dick and all.. As a girl, you should appreciate that

16 5
DanielleinDC 33

If you can rise to the occasion. Some guys can't after they've had a bit too much to drink.

14 1
gracehi 31

I take it no one else here is familiar with the movie "Knocked Up." I think the name says it all.

2 10
hotPinklipstick 24

Thumbs up for the Knocked Up reference.

1 23