Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML
Today, my family and I went Christmas tree shopping. My husband and I were walking around when I saw the perfect tree. Excited, we immediately bought it. When we got home and set it up, I realized it came with a present: termites. FML
Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML
Merry Christmas!
Today, I bought a Christmas tree and carried it up three flights of stairs alone. I finally got it inside, only to realize it was too tall. I tried trimming it, but now it’s crooked, shedding everywhere, and leaning like it gave up on life. I hope the greenish marks on the ceiling won't be permanent. FML
Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
Wind? Thief? Hit and run?
Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML
Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML
Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low
Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML
Today, for the first time ever, my family bought a real Christmas tree instead of using our old fake one. Today, I also found out I'm allergic to Christmas trees. My family won't get rid of it because they paid so much for it and intend to "get their money's worth". FML
Top comments
SuperPizzaMan_fml 11
Kill them ants with diabetes
Cainicide 5
Spray sugar on it - I heard that kills ants.
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Comments (76)
randomtiings44 9
LOL this just made my day
Sir_Swaggington 6
Or you could try not buying one so early. It's gonna be dead by the time Christmas comes.
needsagf14 12
Really? Did you bother to ask WHY it would make it last longer?
winkydog4056 16
It is with warmest regards I must inform you of your entry into the Stupid Moron Club. No dues required.
melly97 0
This is the greatest thing ever!:D made me laugh so hard
bellatrix0805 2
Well that was smart wasn't it
Kade20 4
Hahahahaha! Dumb F***
deequu 20
You could have looked it up just to make sure. That's sucks though!
COswald27 2
If you put aspirin in the water it will live longer.
hfnurse13 1
You don't spray the tree you pour it in the water at the base.,