By Anonymous - 27/12/2012 22:54 - Australia

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 088
You deserved it 3 131

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That's what happens when you listen to your neighbor and spray your tree with sprite.

You know what that means.. CHRISTMAS SPIRIT ALLLL YEAR ROUND!!

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Maybe they where hibernating in it.

Because ants totally hibernate.

I never knew there was green ants, the more you know...

Well it could all be easily avoided with an artificial tree. Save money and use it every year.

52 - But fake trees just kill the spirit... Plus, the real ones smell nice.

Fake trees are awesome. We have two, both pre-lit, so I don't have to fuss with wires every year. We buy pine boughs and shove them into the tree so the house smells like pine, but we aren't sacrificing two live trees each year. (Huge house requires two trees apparently.) We've had them for six years. That's twelve trees we haven't killed.

They sure as shit don't shovel snow. They hibernate.

People buy Christmas trees for different reasons, like smell.

As long as you go to your local tree farm it's a good idea

#81 or they die

You know what that means.. CHRISTMAS SPIRIT ALLLL YEAR ROUND!!

Christmas actually lasts until January 7. Why was OP taking it down early?

I once had a nest of praying mantises hatch out of my Christmas tree. They were less than an inch tall, and adorable. There were dozens of them.

They then probably ate each other

Put the rest of your Christmas stuff up. Christmas every day.

that's when you torch it

My thoughts exactly. KILL IT WITH FIRE!!

Setting a big tree in fire on your house. What could go wrong?

Come on baby! LIGHT MY FIRE!!!

#59: You got "on" and "in" backwards. It should be "ON fire IN your house".

89 you don't say?

Yea either torch or exterminator!

That's what happens when you listen to your neighbor and spray your tree with sprite.

So if I use root bear I get brown ants?

I don't see how adding bears to the equation creates different colored ants..

It doesn't. Just adds naked ants. Covered in honey, with OP hiding in the tree with the ants.

Ha now that was good reply that was to #36

I'm sorry you had to burn the house down in the dead of winter but hey- sacrifices had to be made.

It's ok, it's summer in Australia, he'll be right.

Green ants? That's a new one for me, here we usually have praying mantis' living in our trees

We usually have snow in ours...

We usually have bees in ours....

We usually have... Wait, I'm Jewish, we don't have christmas trees at all.

Okay guys, so I ACTUALLY researched this: OP, being from Australia, could be talking about one of two species of ants that both have the nickname "Green Ant" - "Green Ants" is a nickname often given to Weaver Ants (in this case, the Australian Weaver Ant). These ants are actually brown, so I really don't know why they were given the nickname they have, but whatever. They do bite, and, restating the obvious, can take residence in Australia. OP could ALSO, however, be talking about the Green-Head Ant, which is often confused with the Weaver ant because both species have been dubbed "Green Ant". The Green-Head Ant IS slightly green - it sort of almost looks metallic, so basically, shiny and dark green. These are probably the ants that OP is talking about, as they are most often found in suburban/urban areas. Hope this clears things up for everyone. c: Also, sorry for ruining everyone's fun in trying to figure things out yourselves... I accept all thumb-downs openly.

I live in Australia, too, and I was told that Green Ants were just a species of radioactive cross-bred oxen and possum At least, that's what Steve Irwin taught me..

#64 is probably right about the species and having been bitten by the blighters numerous times before, I can say that even one bite hurts like hell and I can relate to the OP's fear of going near the tree. I'd suggest arming oneself with cans of Mortein and going in 'guns ablazin'

Wow! I have been bitten by those nasty things so many times & now I know their history! Haha thanks :)

Next time you see one, bite it back. Their bums taste sweet and sour. Don't believe me? Give it a go.

The weaver ants you speak of have large bright green bums, so yes, they are pretty much green. That's what "green ants" mean in northern Australia. They are edible & nutritious (lol). Their bites are annoying but fortunately the pain doesn't last very long. They do have a nasty habit of invading the house though, especially in the monsoon season.

My great ant used to have a bite of a problem taking down her tree. I always had to help.

How interesting...

Worst. Puns. Ever.

No.... Just no....

You need some practice at puns.

I couldn't think of a worser pun even if I tried.

30 Worser? Really?

Time to avada kedarva 30. And probably 8's comment too...

Maybe it was a typo with his comment?

Spray it with pyrethrum and stay away for a day or so.... It will work

I never knew green ants existed but FYL OP

FML teaches you new things everyday!

Green ants are a species of radioactive, cross-bred oxen and possum. Very common in the wild of Australia