Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML
Today, I spent hours hand-painting an awesome design on a gift for a friend. My husband was supposed to assemble it when I finished, but when I stepped back to admire my work, he informed me that the whole thing was sideways. He watched me paint it. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he'd come over and help me move a heavy dresser so I could paint the wall behind it. After an hour of waiting for him, I decided to move it myself. He finally arrived, not ten minutes after I broke my toe when I accidentally dropped the dresser on it. FML
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
Today, my boyfriend got frustrated trying to take my entertainment center into the basement for the kids' game room. It didn't fit, thanks to the horrible design of the house, so he Spartan-kicked it down, breaking it into 15 pieces. FML
Today, I spent hours decorating my front yard for Halloween. When I stepped back to admire my work, the wind blew all the decorations into my neighbor's yard. Of course, they're currently away on a long vacation and I can't get to my stuff, so… you're welcome, I guess! FML
Today, I attempted to assemble a piece of furniture that boasted "easy, step-by-step instructions." Three hours later, surrounded by mismatched screws and a confusing diagram, I realized the only thing "easy" about it was my decision to ask my dad to come round and assemble it for me. FML
Today, I was preparing to leave my campsite when I noticed that my neighbors were trying to put up a canopy. I walked over and said, "Do you need a hand?" Then I noticed the man had a prosthetic hook. FML
Today, my husband, who rarely helps with big projects around the house, offered to help me with our mess of a backyard. An hour and a half into the project, and an hour and a half after he disappeared from the backyard, I found him mowing and edging the front. Our front yard was immaculate and didn't need mowed. FML
Today, we needed to get an antique dresser downstairs for sale. While I was fetching a cart to wheel it down safely, my wife and boys decided to impress me by carrying it. The plaster on the walls now needs repair, as does the banister and glass front door. Plus the dresser is now unsellable. FML
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Top comments
10nachoman10 24
How unfortunate, although they were trying to help, perhaps a professional was need!
Ian7890 23
Hey at least you have some good friends that actually tried to do something nice for you.
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Comments (37)
10nachoman10 24
How unfortunate, although they were trying to help, perhaps a professional was need!
TrueTriage 16
Ha professional?! With carpentry?! Grab a hammer, duct tape, your best friend, beer, and some nails that's all the professionalism you need according to most guys with a home project
falloutboy97 16
Am I the only one who thinks OP is trying to insinuate that her boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend..?
turdlett 4
33, yea you are the only one. it's about them building a crappy porch.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
How the **** did you get that from reading the fml? I see absolutely nothing in the story that would make you think that. If I build an ikea rocking chair wrong, it must mean I was banging more than just the chair! Genius!
Spider_Web 11
I actually pictured the "best friend" to be a guy
Ian7890 23
Hey at least you have some good friends that actually tried to do something nice for you.
nourHERE 15
Well it's always good to be different
123man 11
Hey, don't complain! It's the thought that co - Oh, god! Get help! I fell and broke my leg!
LaughinStock 16
"Help I have fallen and I can't get up". They made fun of me when I got life alert but you'll all see one day!
SrakaSrakasta 20
Life alert?
RedPillSucks 33
An American(?) commercial product that's like a panic button you wear as jewelry. Press the button and it summons ambulance, etc.
Kayaytea 18
They are very creative...
vffjvsegb 11
The thought that counts?
HowieDoIt 21
You porch child! I'm sorry that happened but at least you have friends who care about you.
ShadowWolfoxImp 18
yeah... they are not diy-ers, more like.... "should have used more than a wiki how"... don't walk on that porch without protection.
tommylover842 23
I always use a condom when walking on precarious porches.
RedPillSucks 33
on the condominium?
blcksocks 19
I am leaning towards this being a huge fail
Anyb0dyTh 8
:D
RoboCunnilingus 23
Am I the only who's played Injustice, that feels uneasy around these two?
Anyb0dyTh 8
The porch is fine. It's the rest of your house that has issues! :D Lol. Hope they fix it for you. :)