Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML
Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML
Today, I spent hours putting together a beautifully intricate jigsaw to give to my grandmother, who likes to frame them and hang them on her wall. Just as I was about to finish it, I discovered my dog chewing the last piece. FML
Today, I came downstairs to find that our dog's six puppies, who have their own puppy-door to go outside whenever they want, had peed and pooped all over the floor, walked through the pee, and were now happily chewing on a half-rotten deer's head which they had dragged inside. FML
Today, I was digging the foundation for what will eventually be my garage. My kids wanted to help Daddy, which means they had a front row seat with their little spades when we unearthed the skeleton of some previous homeowner's dog. Now they won’t stop crying. FML
Today, after 2 weeks of hard work in the heat planting a garden, just as I thought the most stressful part was over, my wife's mother comes over and brings a huge dog. She then threw a tennis ball for the dog into my freshly seeded garden multiple times, completely destroying most of it. FML
Today, I installed a doggie door at my wife’s grandmother’s house. I was putting the door back on the hinges when I realized I had put it at the very top of the door instead of the bottom. I’m now trying to turn this hole into a window. FML
Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
Today, I paid $5000 for a new fence in my backyard for my dogs. My dog escaped three hours after the contractor finished the fence. FML
Today, my friend told me I'm not welcome in her house anymore. I've spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she's pregnant and couldn't herself. I just finished the job. FML
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Top comments
Nimmrodel 11
I would feel sorry for you but now you have puppies in your life so I can't.
LCPLStewie 23
Good thing you know how to build a great porch! Luckily you didn't have to pay to get it fixed!
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Comments (120)
worldclassrager 41
After maybe selling a few puppies you can make a bigger porch...or have someone else complete it
Hiimhaileypotter 53
OP won't make much money on the puppies, even if they're quality, papered, and purebred. Responsible breeders take all the puppies to the vet to get shots (which wouldn't be cheap for a whole litter), and some even have the puppies fixed so that way they know irresponsible people can't just throw their dog in with another and mate them. My old boss is a dog breeder and she told me that you don't make any money in the business, in fact you basically lose money because I think you have to pay to register the babies too. If you want to make money, dog breeding isn't the field to go into! Lol.
PonyTails13 3
Obviously it wasn't built well enough. Porches should be able to keep out all critters.
ECHOSPiiKES 19
Look at it as a blessing
DanielleinDC 34
While it sucks to have all your hard work go for nothing, you should have 1) spayed yo' bitch (the dog) and 2) made sure that there was no space for critters to crawl (I've heard of raccoons, squirrels and other animals getting into people's under-porch crawl spaces. So this is simultaneously FYL and YDI.
PresidentNorth 16
And what if Op isn't a pro breeder? What sacred breeding law has she just broken? dogs don't give a crap about who they mate with so why do humans care so much?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#53- Because millions of dogs and cats die in shelters every year because irresponsible owners who want to "experience the joy of life" allow their pets to mate with anything that moves and then the litter winds up, one way or another, at the shelter. And no, I'm not saying that this applies to OP.
jamal0000007 4
Ha! You said "hard on"
belljars 22
Who needs a porch anyways. Puppies are better.
Unes 10
First world problem
1jordan1 11
What if...... Three days from now you decide to finish the porch once more. Your friends ask you to hang out for a bit and offer to give you a ride. You decline, because you have to continue on this porch. Later that night, your friends get into an accident and some of them die/get hurt. It's sounds lame, OP, but I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and this sound like it could have maybe saved you from something.
rocker_chick23 27
Please don't post on FML when stoned. This takes the cake for one of the most idiotic comments I have seen
mybubbles2000 13
What on earth are you comparing a litter of puppies to a friend dying?