Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML
Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML
Today, I spent hours putting together a beautifully intricate jigsaw to give to my grandmother, who likes to frame them and hang them on her wall. Just as I was about to finish it, I discovered my dog chewing the last piece. FML
Today, I came downstairs to find that our dog's six puppies, who have their own puppy-door to go outside whenever they want, had peed and pooped all over the floor, walked through the pee, and were now happily chewing on a half-rotten deer's head which they had dragged inside. FML
Today, I was digging the foundation for what will eventually be my garage. My kids wanted to help Daddy, which means they had a front row seat with their little spades when we unearthed the skeleton of some previous homeowner's dog. Now they won’t stop crying. FML
Today, after 2 weeks of hard work in the heat planting a garden, just as I thought the most stressful part was over, my wife's mother comes over and brings a huge dog. She then threw a tennis ball for the dog into my freshly seeded garden multiple times, completely destroying most of it. FML
Today, I installed a doggie door at my wife’s grandmother’s house. I was putting the door back on the hinges when I realized I had put it at the very top of the door instead of the bottom. I’m now trying to turn this hole into a window. FML
Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
Today, I paid $5000 for a new fence in my backyard for my dogs. My dog escaped three hours after the contractor finished the fence. FML
Today, my friend told me I'm not welcome in her house anymore. I've spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she's pregnant and couldn't herself. I just finished the job. FML
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Top comments
Nimmrodel 11
I would feel sorry for you but now you have puppies in your life so I can't.
LCPLStewie 23
Good thing you know how to build a great porch! Luckily you didn't have to pay to get it fixed!
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Comments (120)
rocker_chick23 27
And this is one of the reasons you get your dog fixed. Good job with making the pet overpopulation problem worse.
smokecloud_ 37
54 is right. When I was little, we had an unspayed girl cat who would get out and get knocked up. It happened 3 times, and one of her daughters we kept had a litter once. The two months we had the kittens were awesome, I was in a child's fantasy. Then came the day people came to our door to adopt the kittens. I was ok with this. Then there would come the day when we still had kittens that we couldn't keep, and my mean and scary stepdad would take them to the pound. My classmates informed me that I basically signed their death sentences, and how unlikely it was they would ever find homes. I was inconsolable for days, and begged my mom to fix our cats, but she refused because it was too expensive. Moral: I learned how to be a responsible pet owner by doing everything my mom didn't, because I was always haunted by the thought of all the little kittens who may not have found forever homes.
rocker_chick23 27
#53: You must have never visited a shelter. Go to your nearest kill shelter and look at all the dogs and cats there. Now remember this. The majority of those animals will be killed because people were too lazy to get their dogs and cats fixed. All my pets came from shelters including my purebred saluki.
coopercreek 5
I don't get it. Why'd you need to move the puppies? They're not going anywhere for at least two weeks. They're completely dependant on momma. You probably stressed them AND momma by moving them. They would have been fine. Just make sure momma has high quality food (usually puppy food). She'll be ok.
mybubbles2000 13
Apparently she found it nice enough and safe enough to deliver her litter underneath. Hope she and the pups are okay. Sorry about how hard you worked on it.
Micah_Nobot 10
That really sucks, but congrats on the new pups!
Labyrinth13 20
Since you built it you should have made it so she couldn't get under it in the first place.
Morning_fml 22
The more the merrier, right? At least your dogs know that they have an owner that considers them too.
pic516 9
Shotgun and a rake
mybubbles2000 13
#81- I cannot believe that you would say something so nasty. That was really wrong. Just because her dog gave birth under her porch doesn't mean she should kill the puppies.
Lang88 13
At least your dog was polite enough to give birth outside instead of all over your rug. Be great full for having a polite well mannered dog.
pugpuggy 21
Yeah... When my dog gave birth, it was on the dining room... While I was eating... *Shivers*
Lang88 13
All my dogs do is piss , shit , and make me sneeze. They don't do anything productive. They like to do all the pissing and ******** on the carpet. Dogs from hell.