Animals: Today, after 2 weeks of hard work in the heat planting a garden,...

By Completely Fed Up - 20/04/2016 18:55 - United States - Spokane

Today, after 2 weeks of hard work in the heat planting a garden, just as I thought the most stressful part was over, my wife's mother comes over and brings a huge dog. She then threw a tennis ball for the dog into my freshly seeded garden multiple times, completely destroying most of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 335

You deserved it 1 501

Animals

BO Central

Catflap time

Need warmth

By K.S.S. - 17/04/2016 02:24 - United States - Rushville

Today, when I tried to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years, she had no idea we were even dating. She thought of all the movies, dinners and "sleep overs" I had with her was because we were such great friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 423

You deserved it 4 263

Good job

By An. - 11/01/2021 15:01 - United States - Denver

Today, after a really bad day, I just wanted to order DoorDash. When my food came, I saw my burger had tomatoes in it, despite requesting no tomatoes. I’m deathly allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 101

By LonelySanta - 24/12/2009 08:18 - Australia

Today, I went home, where I live alone, from my dorm room at my university. The only Christmas cards I had received were addressed to the person that lived there before me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 592

You deserved it 2 422

By Potty-Pot - 23/01/2017 10:00

Today, my flatmate took his hour plus long shower while we both tried to get ready for work. I had a choice to wet myself or pee in a cooking pot. I chose the pot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 074

You deserved it 635

By gullible - 12/04/2014 16:01 - United States

Today, I found out that the April Fool's Day prank my girlfriend and best friend played on me was not a joke, and that they actually did sleep together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 792

You deserved it 3 922

By TheDeathguard - 20/07/2017 20:05

Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner association for "watching them make out" at the pool. I'm the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 603

You deserved it 277

By Calimero0 - 05/12/2017 01:30

Today, I felt so unwell that I didn't fall asleep until 4 AM. The baby woke up at 5, ready to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 186

You deserved it 537

By Dump Tump - 29/03/2019 22:00

Today, my flute broke. I have an exam coming tomorrow and all repair shops are closed. I guess I’ll have to lose £150. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 159

By squirts - 27/11/2013 04:42

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 151

You deserved it 5 301

Racing rats

By Anonymous - 04/10/2019 20:00

Today, after working my ass off for months for an open supervisor job at my work, I found out that they hired someone for the position. The guy has never worked for the company before, has a background completely unrelated to what we do, and has to be trained as he knows nothing about what we do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 26/02/2016 08:37 - Australia - Wilston

Today, I went to visit my dad for the first time in over a year, as I have been studying for my Master's degree in history halfway across the world. The first thing he said to me? "So, gotten a real job yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 668

You deserved it 3 291

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 20:31 - United Kingdom - Truro

Today, I had a conversation with a girl I don't normally talk to. She ended up saying I'm "not as annoying as everyone says." and "Oh... you didn't know?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 109

You deserved it 3 342

Armchair psychiatrist

By jessie - 16/12/2020 20:58 - United States - Denver

Today, I was informed that I am, in fact, faking my depression. Why? Because I shower daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 56

By Jim - 28/03/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 207

You deserved it 82 463

By mimimi - 30/12/2008 06:24 - France

Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 887

You deserved it 5 895

By Potato_Lord - 12/11/2015 04:11 - United States - Madison

Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 709

You deserved it 1 453

By Anonymous - 22/12/2016 05:03

Today, I bought a rather unique shirt for my boyfriend, planning to give it to him for Christmas. He showed up wearing the same shirt. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 427

You deserved it 659

By fuglymug - 08/01/2016 21:48 - United States - Appleton

Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 383

You deserved it 2 336

By riappp - 25/02/2009 15:31 - United States

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 865

You deserved it 41 573

By anonmys - 18/07/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 393

You deserved it 19 384

Out of the mouth of babes...

By DEE - 26/07/2018 15:00

Today, while I was getting ready for the day, my 5-year-old daughter looked at me and said, "Mom, maybe you should do some gymnastics today. Your legs look bigger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 711

You deserved it 448

By yen - 07/10/2018 22:00

Today, I was talking to my sister about how I need to buy gifts from Santa for my daughter, when my son asked why I would be buying them instead of letting Santa bring them. My son genuinely still believed in Santa. He’s 22 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 826

You deserved it 1 083

By hale_551 - 11/09/2015 16:34

Today, I asked my teacher if he could tutor me for my upcoming exam. He said he'd look into it and let me know later. I later got called to the principal's office because my teacher claimed I'd propositioned him for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 967

You deserved it 1 552

By Anonymous - 22/07/2013 16:53 - United States - Concord

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 544

You deserved it 3 579

By angel grace - 15/02/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up feeling ill. My mom sent me to school anyway, and grounded me for "lying" about being sick. As soon as I got to school, I began vomiting blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 048

You deserved it 237

By Foureyes - 23/08/2009 13:29 - Australia

Today, my mother and father are insisting that I go on a date with a German exchange student they met at the weekend. Why? Because we have similar glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 585

You deserved it 3 865

By GHEttoUp - 01/05/2019 02:00

Today, my husband and I are temporarily moved into a cheap apartment in town until settlement for the house we are buying. So far, from my balcony, I’ve a watched a drug deal take place and a man scratch at the ground then lick his hands. It’s going to be a long three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 224

By bennyp77 - 31/08/2010 05:15 - United States

Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 931

You deserved it 15 669

By magicman - 04/07/2012 09:04 - United States

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 127

You deserved it 31 344

By scarletdurose88 - 19/04/2009 21:47 - United States

Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 702

You deserved it 13 736

By Username - 23/06/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad has been trying to take money out of my savings account to pay for divorce fees and a hammock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 305

You deserved it 2 575

Plumbed out

By MariosNightmare - 18/12/2020 07:57 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, what should've been a five-minute job replacing a drain turned into a 2 hour ordeal just to remove the old one. The original part was put in incorrectly, so whoever did it used a full tube of silicone to make it watertight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 48

By playinmyguitar - 15/08/2009 15:02 - United States

Today, I invited everyone to a gig I'm playing at a bar. They closed it down just for me when I told them how many people were attending, and I spent all day setting it up. Turns out nobody showed up besides my mom, my dad, and 2 of my cousins. I still had to play 7 songs in front of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 746

You deserved it 6 927

By fatman - 10/08/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 613

You deserved it 11 488

By Anonymous - 08/04/2012 18:55 - United States - Perris

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 857

You deserved it 5 181

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 032

You deserved it 8 093

Happy Birthday, Sweaty

By jezebel - 17/03/2011 14:43 - United States

Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 389

You deserved it 3 439

By Anonymous - 23/10/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 462

You deserved it 49 621

That backfired

By Alexander D. - 14/07/2012 00:48 - United States

Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 647

You deserved it 37 065

Stalker or coincidence?

By Jenny - 08/05/2020 05:00

Today, I went grocery shopping at the store near my house. Upon checking out, I look up to see that my cashier is none other than the woman I went on a date with a few months ago, and whose calls and texts I ignored after she began to obsess over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 335

You deserved it 670

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Top comments

marcus903 17

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Thursday 21 April 2016 12:24

Kick her out since she has no respect for others people.

MegaExplosives 17

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Thursday 21 April 2016 12:31

make her replant everything

marcus903 17

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Thursday 21 April 2016 12:24

Kick her out since she has no respect for others people.

MegaExplosives 17

Send a private message

Thursday 21 April 2016 12:31

make her replant everything

ohSNAPyall 26

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Thursday 21 April 2016 18:14

Good luck with that.

FrostyyFML 15

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Friday 22 April 2016 1:13

Is that still considered property damage seeing as it was intentional? I'm no law expert but that seems acceptable.

IorvethTheXolo 8

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Thursday 21 April 2016 12:33

See, everyone knows that their dog is not welcome at my house unless I have invited the dog to come play with mine or it's a well behaved dog that's kept on a leash. My dogs are well behaved and most people know that at least the youngest one is always with us, but if the dogs weren't specifically invited, they stay on a leash or at home if it's someone who would rather they not be there. I've been lucky to have lots of friends just like me whose dogs go everywhere with them so don't mind me bringing mine, but I can't even imagine just assuming it was okay to turn one out in the yard to play fetch without permission at someone else's house.

kennethlwinter 3

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Thursday 21 April 2016 19:34

That's how it should be done. My dogs are absolute terrors with other dogs and small children, and mostly at the fault of the other party. However, I'd still like to be aware if other people are coming over. I'm not gonna lock my dogs away just because I have a surprise guest. My dogs live here.

dkane 12

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Friday 22 April 2016 1:54

With it being his wife's mom, his wife probably said it was okay, and it seems as if the dog was well behaved, but the mother-in-law throwing the tennis in the garden wasn't so much.