Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
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Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
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Top comments
DontClickOnMe 28
He could've been nicer about it, but if it really bothers you, ask him how he likes it and to give you some tips. He should be helpful, not hurtful.
Hiktmae 20
If it's her first time it's not really her fault... He needs to be nicer and patient and kindly let her know how to improve, it is very nerve-wracking for a girl to perform for the first time.
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Comments (183)
devildog562 33
Practice makes perfect. On behalf of men every, keep trying . Damn #10 beat me to it.
Awkward_915 3
He could have been more tactful, and understanding given it was your first try. Keep in mind that his brain would having been running on low blood levels making tact difficult.
charissaoz 7
I thought honesty was practically worshipped on this site.
RedPillSucks 33
It's possible to be honest without being a jerk. There is something such as constructive criticism
CenturionK 3
You can be honest in a kind way. Honestly that dude doesn't deserve any more ******** from her if that's the thanks she gets.
guinea_pigs 9
He should have told you what felt good and what didn't instead of making you feel bad. At least, that's what a mature person would do. which apparently, he is not.
miianah1 22
I guess your relationship is head-ing in the wrong derection.
dreamweaver1227 11
I see what you did there.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I think we all did. ;)
addictedtoIASIP 14
Hey at least he was honest
Dodge4x4Ram 46
act like a **** when you're sucking on it, eye contact, deep throat, stick your tongue out, swallow & repeat.
cakefete2 31
If OP is doing it right, she couldn't maintain eye contact while her boyfriend's eyes are rolling back.
redstone7693 29
#23 made me laugh
hk1998 8
Well that blows
RedPillSucks 33
No, it sucks
alohamaura 2
I hope he doesn't expect a ******* ever again. That's a horrible way to put it. He could have just directed you, or said that he liked it a certain way and instructed you how he meant. No need to be an asshole about it.
fotocand 12
Atleast he knows your not a prostitute