Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
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Top comments
DontClickOnMe 28
He could've been nicer about it, but if it really bothers you, ask him how he likes it and to give you some tips. He should be helpful, not hurtful.
Hiktmae 20
If it's her first time it's not really her fault... He needs to be nicer and patient and kindly let her know how to improve, it is very nerve-wracking for a girl to perform for the first time.
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Comments (183)
Fou_Lou 20
He could have been nicer but he has a point. Talk about him what you can do better. Since you waited so long i presume it was either your first BJ or you dont give BJ often. Just et him instruct you how itis done and how he likes it. FYL for having a unsensitive boyfriend though.
DaniX9 5
I mean, you could consider yourself lucky, my boyfriend takes forever when I do that! What he likes is when I suck and tongue around the head. With practice you'll figure it out, but maybe you should do it to someone who will treat you better
Jnjb1031 0
Damn
YugiSchiffer 0
He could've been nicer... Well don't feel too bad about it! Perhaps he just likes it a certain way that you don't know about. Ask him to help you learn how to please him. If your boyfriend has a good mindset about it, he should be thrilled that you want to take the time and learn about him.
CarouselHeart 11
What an asshole. Sorry, OP.
casssssssie 2
He should have tried to guide you through it. You're not going to know how to give a great ******* your first time! He should communicate with you and tell you what he likes and wants.
NamelessFace 22
Ugh. Do men think women ENJOY putting people's dicks in their mouths personally? Ingrate. Tell him to do it himself.
Zebediabolical 45
Different people like different things. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean that all women don't like it.
baconofthepan 7
Practice makes perfect. Even when 'giving head' like others have stated ask him how to do it. I'm going to assume he jerks off, have him show you how he does it and pay attention to his technique. That way you can get a feel for what he likes.