Health: Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke...

By guyshithappensto - 22/05/2010 02:41 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 116

You deserved it 41 712

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Same thing different taste

By quickfingers100 - 01/06/2011 16:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 649

You deserved it 48 053

By Soap0015 - 16/08/2012 09:57 - United States

Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 190

You deserved it 2 809

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:14 - United States

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 334

You deserved it 4 362

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 10/12/2022 00:00 - United States - Cecil

Today, I woke up from another nightmare, this time drowning in a rogue wave. I could feel the water and rain. I could feel myself gasping for air as I don't know how to swim, and can barely float. I'm scared if I die in my sleep, I die for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 168

By LiveGuard - 28/03/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 851

You deserved it 22 317

By Anonymous - 23/03/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 362

You deserved it 34 841

By ven980 - 01/06/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 840

You deserved it 29 519

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 237

By Anonymous - 24/11/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 668

You deserved it 29 286

By mathii - 23/07/2011 23:52 - France

Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 767

You deserved it 6 156

x805xUnknown 6

Saturday 22 May 2010 9:38

It's impossible too drown when no water is present, Dumbass.

nimasag1 0

Saturday 22 May 2010 10:02

I'm not fat, I'm fluffy

Comments

MeNoGusta 0

Tuesday 5 June 2012 7:06

You didn't "almost drown" you almost suffocated in your fat.

KtKD54 2

Wednesday 4 July 2012 16:41

I fall asleep all the time in class, but this has never happened to me

ajh557 22

Monday 27 August 2012 9:39

You should probably pay more attention in that class... Then maybe you will learn that you can't drown in your arm fat... It's called suffocation

1hello_kitty1 5

Thursday 5 June 2014 14:04

wake up call..literally

EDGE1095 20

Tuesday 3 November 2015 7:46

its not the end of the world. go exercise and get in shape :)

Tyrax 16

Thursday 28 July 2016 7:02

You deserved it, not for being overweight enough to SUFFOCATE ( *not* drown) on your own fat, but for falling asleep in the first place.

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Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 568

You deserved it 2 470

Today, I sent a forward to the ladies at my office. When I scrolled down I noticed my personal emails from my best friend were attached. They go into great detail about the sex I had last night, when I was planning on dumping my boyfriend, and that I suspected I had an anal fissure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 737

You deserved it 61 295

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 217

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 985

You deserved it 4 280

Today, I had the once in a lifetime opportunity to interview someone I’ve greatly admired for years and grew up watching. I was naturally nervous, but I didn’t expect to be so nervous I would throw up on him in the first 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 139

You deserved it 473

Today, I saw a person in my class completing a project that was due two periods later and that they had just started in the bathroom. They got a better grade than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 327

You deserved it 4 817

Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 136

You deserved it 2 939

Today, I played back the images of the tiny camera I attached to the collar of my cat to figure out where she goes when she disappears for several days at a time. I found my husband with another woman in our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 601

You deserved it 388

Same thing different taste

Night terrors

Wardrobe change please

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