Miscellaneous: Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry...

By KrazyKill - 09/03/2012 19:04 - Canada

Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 990

You deserved it 75 014

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By :/ - 01/10/2013 10:18

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 253

You deserved it 17 475

Clout chasing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 586

You deserved it 47 180

By lonely - 01/01/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 045

You deserved it 34 514

By mathgenius - 08/10/2013 19:17 - Norway - Kolltveit

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 701

You deserved it 3 709

By goddamn chicken subs - 24/03/2016 16:51 - United States

Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 844

You deserved it 1 653

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 00:32 - United States

Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 653

You deserved it 6 814

By NoLife - 15/05/2011 18:49 - United States

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 077

You deserved it 34 720

Self report

By banana12321 - 02/04/2015 04:40 - United States - Fresno

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 204

You deserved it 30 467

Covert failure

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 20:01

Today, I failed school and ghosted all my teachers. Nobody knows, but I'm planning on telling my parents in a week. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 1 195

Liar !

By Anonymous - 14/03/2020 09:00

Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 1 262

Teabubbles 8

Saturday 10 March 2012 2:20

*In Red Forman's voice* "DUMBASS" .

lolololer 8

Saturday 10 March 2012 2:20

did they like your status? :P

Comments

Kevin_Dwayne 6

Saturday 10 March 2012 5:43

Why the hell did you post it on fb ?

mrnuleef 7

Saturday 10 March 2012 5:55

Jackass

Kaerunoutof 3

Saturday 10 March 2012 6:05

This is the digital divide.

aasshhll3eyy 2

Saturday 10 March 2012 6:30

FAIL!!

night1521 0

Saturday 10 March 2012 6:43

You know you could delete a post, right?

hrubi4x4 4

Saturday 10 March 2012 6:48

Being a strait moronic dumbshit. Wat an idiot. U son would fail the test along with life

gracehi 31

Saturday 10 March 2012 6:57

Ferris Bueler *fail. You are NOT Ferris Bueler. There has never been a more YDI YDI. Y ******* DI.

alleniverson76er 0

Saturday 10 March 2012 7:05

Same thing happens to me!

mrs_bruno_mars 14

Saturday 10 March 2012 7:21

Chemistry's easy! What's there to have to weasel out of?

Starquake24 0

Wednesday 4 July 2012 21:40

Agreed.

madison8895 11

Saturday 10 March 2012 7:30

Congratulation you faked sick for a test that you are going to have to do no matter what.

Keywords

Dreams Jealousy Love Geek Gamers Video games AITA Kids Parents Family Animals Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Annoying Birthday Cute Weird Awkward Health Abuse Social Media Scams Mysterious Friends Miscellaneous School Education Anger issues

The Top

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 339

You deserved it 15 971

Today, the guy I’ve been trying to get over for the last month finally messaged me like I’ve been hoping for, only to cry that his new girlfriend cheated on him and to ask if I think he should forgive her, because he, "appreciates my honesty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 590

You deserved it 215

The Top

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 321

You deserved it 3 297

Today, I'm in a long-term relationship with a woman I love to bits, but I have a crush on a coworker. I've tried to brush it off, but it's only getting stronger. The worst part? I think she likes me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 1 103

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 558

You deserved it 29 175

Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 839

You deserved it 186

Today, I’m an au pair. The little boy that I take care of announced during a family dinner that I was “dad’s new sweetheart”. His mother didn’t seem to appreciate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 72

Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 444

You deserved it 3 451