Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML
Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML
Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, I failed school and ghosted all my teachers. Nobody knows, but I'm planning on telling my parents in a week. I'm fucked. FML
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
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Top comments
Teabubbles 8
*In Red Forman's voice* "DUMBASS" .
lolololer 8
did they like your status? :P
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Comments (121)
tennisrapper1 14
Why tell the whole world? Who knows who would rat you out even if you're parents didn't find out...
b0ngs 7
Someone who's never faked sick before would. They would think theyre so badass and people would actually care.
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Facebook ohhhh Facebook. We have a new assignment for you! Make it so parents can't see my posts about skipping school!!! Sincerely, Me
thereseg69 7
Well we know you have no common sense..I'd like to know how you do on the test
zebralover23 14
Wow, you are so smart.. How can you forget that.?
liftedyoda 5
Idk?
Wicked361 8
Wouldn't you still have to make up the test the next day or something... Unless it's just in my school district
rubberduckie94 13
First you lied. Then you were too stupid to get away with it. Then you still have to take the test. Wow you accomplished a whole lot. Congrats.
BlackBlazeCobra 16
Idiot. You're gonna have to take it eventually anyway, so you might as well had gotten it done sooner than later.
AK10bears 0
DING! DING! DING! DING! Ladies and Gentleman we have our winner! For the DUMB-ASS move of the week! Let me tell you what you have won for yourself! 1, The loose of respect from your Parents! 2, Weeks of your friends calling you a KNOB! DUMB-ASS! and many other stupid ass names!! 3, and the chance to be entered into the BIGGEST DUMB-ASS KNOB HEAD for the year of 2012! Congratulating!! You must be very proud of yourself!!
fsamslife92 8
Knob?
TomHarrow 5
I think knob is a funny ass word. But for the rest of it....could've done without. I hate nazis so I'm not going to correct. But Jesus.
rdrr 2
Loose respect? So what? The parent's respect gets lesser and lesser over time?
loufol22 5
Goddam shut up
loufol22 5
Education is a life advantage. I can't say I have not tried to skip but at least be smart enough to know that your parents are checking your face book... Sounds like you need the education
FrankHotpants 31
Because nothing is official until you post it on Facebook.