Miscellaneous: Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry...

By KrazyKill - 09/03/2012 19:04 - Canada

Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 990

You deserved it 75 017

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Same thing different taste

By :/ - 01/10/2013 10:18

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 254

You deserved it 17 475

Clout chasing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 586

You deserved it 47 185

By lonely - 01/01/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 045

You deserved it 34 514

By mathgenius - 08/10/2013 19:17 - Norway - Kolltveit

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 702

You deserved it 3 709

By goddamn chicken subs - 24/03/2016 16:51 - United States

Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 845

You deserved it 1 655

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 00:32 - United States

Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 654

You deserved it 6 815

By NoLife - 15/05/2011 18:49 - United States

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 077

You deserved it 34 721

Self report

By banana12321 - 02/04/2015 04:40 - United States - Fresno

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 204

You deserved it 30 468

Covert failure

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 20:01

Today, I failed school and ghosted all my teachers. Nobody knows, but I'm planning on telling my parents in a week. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 1 196

Liar !

By Anonymous - 14/03/2020 09:00

Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 1 262

Teabubbles 8

Saturday 10 March 2012 2:20

*In Red Forman's voice* "DUMBASS" .

lolololer 8

Saturday 10 March 2012 2:20

did they like your status? :P

Comments

teentee401 36

Sunday 12 May 2013 7:07

YDI for: 1. Skipping school 2. Being dumb enough to post about it

CougeeSwagg 19

Tuesday 22 July 2014 6:38

DUMB, wait for it, ASS

ayanna_wright 15

Sunday 14 September 2014 20:47

ahha that's what u get bitch

legallyfkd 7

Tuesday 24 March 2015 23:28

RETARD ALERT CLASS! WE HAVE A RETARD!

superguydude200 5

Saturday 28 March 2015 23:38

******* hell, you should have just deleted the post.

iwood214 14

Monday 13 July 2015 19:18

You know you're probably going to have to make it up when you go back

Pixie2985 6

Wednesday 5 August 2015 23:55

Idiot you're going to have to make it up some other time..

JupiterPainon 17

Wednesday 2 September 2015 19:21

When I first read this I thought you meant you called in sick to work to cram for a test, that would've been OK but you're a dumb ****

spleeN_fml 4

Monday 1 February 2016 23:58

that's what you get for having Facebook.

Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

Tuesday 18 July 2017 13:48

I didn't know one could be too dumb to use facebook. Now however I do

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The Top

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 831

You deserved it 1 359

Today, I told my man that, in order to get me ready for sex within a minute whenever he wants, he only needs to relearn how to go down on me, which he used to do splendidly but has somehow forgotten. He apparently considers this too much effort and will rather keep groping me unsuccessfully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 105

The Top

Today, I finally went to the DMV to replace my lost license. After waiting for almost two hours, I casually rummaged through my purse. Something strange inside the lining caught my eye. It was my license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 691

You deserved it 27 286

Today, I vented to my friend about how unhappy I am and how I want to kill myself. What did she say? "Don't do that." That was it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 251

Today, while cleaning the bathroom in a suite at the hotel I work at, I heard a couple come in, and then a marriage proposal. She said no, that she had been seeing someone else and left the room. I was then alone in the bathroom, listening to a grown man sob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 261

You deserved it 4 194

Today, my son, who I admit has a temper, met his cousins from France for the first time. Straight away he lost his temper, but before I could step in, his younger cousin knocked him out cold with a right hook, looked me dead in the eye and said, “That’s how you get a bitch under control.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 1 640

Today, I caught a lady attempting to steal a watermelon by putting it in her shirt. When I confronted her, she claimed to be pregnant and threatened to sue me and the store for discriminating against mothers. Nice try, but the watermelon fell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 735

You deserved it 252

Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis, bought a Mercedes, along with having a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive, until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 260

You deserved it 1 558