Intimacy: Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of...

By Anonymous - 24/08/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 703

You deserved it 7 578

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Same thing different taste

You're grounded!

By Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 128

By ow - 13/06/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 998

You deserved it 4 773

Priorities

By elly - 08/04/2021 14:00

Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 173

By erianne - 07/05/2018 15:00

Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 872

You deserved it 590

By XavierLing - 23/07/2019 06:00

Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 758

By Anonymous - 26/07/2018 01:30

Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 825

You deserved it 265

Hear this?

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - 11/07/2014 20:34 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 839

You deserved it 6 930

By lowly101 - 09/08/2016 19:15

Today, I stood up at my desk and fell. I landed on the arm of my desk chair. There was a loud crack when the plastic in the chair broke. My co-workers heard. They didn't come to check on me because I didn't scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 520

You deserved it 1 472

By Anonymous - 07/05/2011 00:22 - United States

Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing me to gasp and moan in pain. My parents overheard, and now I'm getting the full coming of age talk and how I shouldn't lie about what I was doing. I didn't do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 508

You deserved it 4 691

By stupidneighbor - 04/03/2009 17:03 - United States

Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 176

You deserved it 3 534

HoorayForFML 0

Monday 24 August 2009 16:35

What an awkward thing to shout upon hurting yourself. O_o

ydi_bitch 0

Monday 24 August 2009 16:47

YDI for having sex with the chair

Comments

Fridiculously 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 0:07

I scream, BUTT FUCKK!!!

Mr_Tuff_Guy 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 0:55

Fake.

moonlight_daze 8

Tuesday 25 August 2009 3:32

So are your mom's **** but you don't see me complaining.

darkflame1516 13

Tuesday 25 August 2009 2:09

Ow, that had to hurt :S And I yell "oh **** me" too, though usually when i do something stupid without meaning to, not falling :) (btw, I found this from your deviantart XD just letting ya know your journals reach people :D)

loltoyoutoo 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 2:29

oh damn loooool . sucks enough you got a gash and here comes the neighbour saying that . sometimes i yell that too heh

summer99 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 3:30

LMFAO. one of the funnier FMLs. but seriously, how loud were you hobbling around your apt?

Besker 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 5:36

next time try "Jesus H. Titty-******* Christ on a Moped" it works wonders (but remember there has to be the moped part or it won't work)

freudianego 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 6:48

Yeah sure. As if screaming 'oh **** me' once in pain could be mistaken for 'sex noises'. Next time you and your Grade 8 friends have a pajama party, don't amuse yourself by writing fake posts.

wafflemonger 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 21:47

Am I the only one who irrationally hates the phrase "**** me" when used in a frustrating situation?

wafflemonger 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 21:50

SomeRandomGuy18 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 23:28

Stop being such a wimp. I cut my entire leg to where there was barely any skin left and I didn't start moaning and groaning. Grow up.

incrediblesoup 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 6:07

and let me guess that make you tough and a grown up cause you supposedly don't feel pain. You're such a fag

understory 0

Friday 28 August 2009 7:28

Heeeey, buddy. Listen, can we, you know, drop the sexual slurs? Some actual fags might get offended.

efynsien 1

Saturday 4 February 2012 6:31

Well actually if you tipped almost all the skin of your peg you would be in shock. Therfore, the pain would have been bearable. However, small gashes hurt more in a short period of time after the infliction. And i agree with fag thing.