Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML
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Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
Today, I stood up at my desk and fell. I landed on the arm of my desk chair. There was a loud crack when the plastic in the chair broke. My co-workers heard. They didn't come to check on me because I didn't scream. FML
Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing me to gasp and moan in pain. My parents overheard, and now I'm getting the full coming of age talk and how I shouldn't lie about what I was doing. I didn't do anything. FML
Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML
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Top comments
HoorayForFML 0
What an awkward thing to shout upon hurting yourself. O_o
ydi_bitch 0
YDI for having sex with the chair
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Comments (70)
Fridiculously 0
I scream, BUTT FUCKK!!!
Mr_Tuff_Guy 0
Fake.
moonlight_daze 8
So are your mom's **** but you don't see me complaining.
darkflame1516 13
Ow, that had to hurt :S And I yell "oh **** me" too, though usually when i do something stupid without meaning to, not falling :) (btw, I found this from your deviantart XD just letting ya know your journals reach people :D)
loltoyoutoo 0
oh damn loooool . sucks enough you got a gash and here comes the neighbour saying that . sometimes i yell that too heh
summer99 0
LMFAO. one of the funnier FMLs. but seriously, how loud were you hobbling around your apt?
Besker 0
next time try "Jesus H. Titty-******* Christ on a Moped" it works wonders (but remember there has to be the moped part or it won't work)
freudianego 0
Yeah sure. As if screaming 'oh **** me' once in pain could be mistaken for 'sex noises'. Next time you and your Grade 8 friends have a pajama party, don't amuse yourself by writing fake posts.
wafflemonger 0
Am I the only one who irrationally hates the phrase "**** me" when used in a frustrating situation?
wafflemonger 0
SomeRandomGuy18 0
Stop being such a wimp. I cut my entire leg to where there was barely any skin left and I didn't start moaning and groaning. Grow up.
incrediblesoup 0
and let me guess that make you tough and a grown up cause you supposedly don't feel pain. You're such a fag
understory 0
Heeeey, buddy. Listen, can we, you know, drop the sexual slurs? Some actual fags might get offended.
efynsien 1
Well actually if you tipped almost all the skin of your peg you would be in shock. Therfore, the pain would have been bearable. However, small gashes hurt more in a short period of time after the infliction. And i agree with fag thing.