Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
Today, I stood up at my desk and fell. I landed on the arm of my desk chair. There was a loud crack when the plastic in the chair broke. My co-workers heard. They didn't come to check on me because I didn't scream. FML
Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing me to gasp and moan in pain. My parents overheard, and now I'm getting the full coming of age talk and how I shouldn't lie about what I was doing. I didn't do anything. FML
Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML
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Top comments
HoorayForFML 0
What an awkward thing to shout upon hurting yourself. O_o
ydi_bitch 0
YDI for having sex with the chair
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Comments (70)
oh_haaybby 0
o___O. Well, maybe you should not have yelled "**** ME" when you hurt yourself. LOL.
your_face 15
YDI for overreacting.
TallMist 32
You try having a horrible gash on your leg and let's see how calmly you handle it.
durgs94 1
Haha. I always scream eff my life when i mess, or get hurt, or get mad. Lol.
understory 0
I hate to say it, but- this is what happens to people who think "**** me" is an expletive. It's not. It's a command. It's always a command.
FuckUpXNote 0
Ha!What the hell.
kylerzonca1 0
dang that suxx, funny as mess thought, FYL. its ok i say it too when i hurt myself or do somthin stupid...
Spierdalaj 7
This is probably one of the only FML's to ever make me laugh out loud :D
beezleboss2010 3
Hahaha I'd just "nah I'd rather not".
yaaypenguinss 1
hahaha! lately whenever I get mad or pissed off I yell OOH FUUUCK MY AAASSSSS
lkrunner101 7
Ydi for being a whimp