By my_way_1213

Smart kid.

Today, at 2 in the afternoon, I walked in on my 6-year-old making coffee. When I asked what he was doing, he said, "You were being grumpy, and you said coffee makes you not so grumpy." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2220

You deserved it

3652

Favorite

Kids

Hello everyone!

You snooze, you lose

Abuse

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Westbury

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45720

You deserved it

6333

Favorite

By AJShow80 - United States

Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

123019

You deserved it

18179

Favorite

By Noname - United States

Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30161

You deserved it

4506

Favorite

By for the whored - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, I was listening to music on my phone and reading posts on here. I laughed hysterically at one, then noticed my parents shooting me outraged looks. Turned out I laughed while a news reporter was talking about a brutal rape that just happened in our city. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24020

You deserved it

3198

Favorite

By neighbour hell - Norway - Kristiansand

Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50948

You deserved it

2681

Favorite

By FreakinthePink

Today, I walked into my room to find my roommate's boyfriend trying on one of my pink, lacy bras. My roommate then yelled at me for coming home early. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37066

You deserved it

3033

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55806

You deserved it

4672

Favorite

By Kelly - United States

Today, I heard a girl telling her friend all about her boyfriend, John. They talked about the grocery store that he works at, and that he drives a nice yellow mustang. My boyfriend's name is John, works at that same grocery store, and drives a nice yellow mustang. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62204

You deserved it

3951

Favorite

By woah - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47884

You deserved it

8198

Favorite

By Jack - United States

Today, my family got together to read my grandpa's will. He gave all of his grandkids $400 each. Except me. It seems he thought I'd see the funny side in being bequeathed a blow-up sex doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41571

You deserved it

5150

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was running a meeting feeling very stressed. I grabbed my stress ball out of my bag, squeezing it vigorously throughout the meeting. When I stood up to talk my stress ball exploded all over my new black suit and the desk. So much for relieving stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28380

You deserved it

4320

Favorite

By Soaked - United States

Today, there was a 10-minute cloudburst. It started 30 seconds after I parked my car and ended 30 seconds after I arrived at the office. Now the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and I look like I took a shower fully clothed. Oh, and I'm wearing thin white pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46123

You deserved it

7980

Favorite

By monkeycannon7 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8320

You deserved it

29568

Favorite

By Yellow an - United States

Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27759

You deserved it

2923

Favorite

By dammit hearing aid - United States - Wallingford

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42753

You deserved it

22218

Favorite

By ducky2721 - United States

Today, while working my overnight shift, I went into the isolation room to find some items for a former client. The door fell shut and the magnetic lock went to work. Both unit telephones and my cell phone were lying on the desk, and I waited four hours for my supervisor to rescue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26578

You deserved it

4812

Favorite

By oh, shit...... - Denmark - Bagsv?rd

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21308

You deserved it

1960

Favorite

By oops - United States - Wichita Falls

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72196

You deserved it

6996

Favorite

By fuck no - India - Kollam

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27042

You deserved it

7988

Favorite

By Sleepy head - United States

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55605

You deserved it

14969

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68839

You deserved it

12174

Favorite

By JackieD - United States - Bellevue

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42016

You deserved it

16160

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went into work to waitress on a table of 40 guests. They were my only table for the day and the bill came to over 700 dollars. After they left the busser was cleaning the table and threw out the credit card receipt which had my tip on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65584

You deserved it

4076

Favorite

By worstwaytodumpagirl - United Kingdom - Harrow

Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46884

You deserved it

3539

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/5/2020 08:00

Frustrated

Today, after 10-plus years of marriage, my husband still gets off after 5 minutes. I find myself just wanting to just go down on him, instead of being unsatisfied right when I start to get into it myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1762

You deserved it

290

Favorite

By gymgirl - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51212

You deserved it

3811

Favorite

By cthulhu help me - United States - Cabot

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32528

You deserved it

2803

Favorite

By j.b. - United States

Today, I found out that my husband thinks its okay to have an online girlfriend and have naked pictures sent to his email because he's not "physically touching, making love, or kissing". The sad part is that the online girlfriend gets more action than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40442

You deserved it

4864

Favorite

By Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

52288

You deserved it

9573

Favorite

Winner

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1989

You deserved it

942

Favorite

By Ann - United States

Works out well

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51353

You deserved it

9192

Favorite

By Crappyfayman - United States

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36607

You deserved it

3573

Favorite

By WPA2 OR DEATH - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27605

You deserved it

1969

Favorite

By hmmmm - Australia

Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41134

You deserved it

5440

Favorite

By leovaldez - 22/6/2020 20:08

Call CPS!

Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1572

You deserved it

Favorite

By thatguythere858 - United States

Today, I woke up with a foul stench forcing its way up my nostrils. It turns out our septic tank broke, and is now leaking into our backyard, and sadly, our basement. I live in the basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31329

You deserved it

2768

Favorite

By padre74 - United States - Jackson

Today, after creating a swear jar for my son, I came back to find a $20 bill in it and him saying, "How much does that buy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

11263

You deserved it

2374

Favorite

By friendless - Canada

Today, I got invited out by friends for coffee after I broke up with my boyfriend. When I told my mom where I was going, she looked at me and said, "But you don't have friends. All your friends are pixels. Where are you really going?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

32511

You deserved it

3784

Favorite

By theydidsmellitthough - Israel - Netanya

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26127

You deserved it

9343

Favorite

By efmylife - United States

Today, I threw a paper ball into a recycling bin backwards. I don't know whats more sad: the fact that that was my highlight of my life, or I had been attempting to make that shot every day for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31848

You deserved it

7136

Favorite

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Top comments

By acmariner99 | 24

#7645968 - Saturday 9 June 2018 20:35

You’re raising your kid right! He is right you know!

By fluffy_gummybear | 13

#7645980 - Saturday 9 June 2018 21:02

Oh come on, that's not a fuck my life. That's your kid being kind and wanting to help you out. You're doing a good job. Would you rather your kid be bratty and ignorant all the time?

COMMENTS

By acmariner99 | 24

#7645968 - Saturday 9 June 2018 20:35

You’re raising your kid right! He is right you know!

By Stephanie Seguin | 10

#7645971 - Saturday 9 June 2018 20:39

That's cute :)

By Christopher Martin | 12

#7645973 - Saturday 9 June 2018 20:43

Parenting goals

By pjsr | 32

#7645976 - Saturday 9 June 2018 20:51

He has a promising career as a drug dealer!

By fluffy_gummybear | 13

#7645980 - Saturday 9 June 2018 21:02

Oh come on, that's not a fuck my life. That's your kid being kind and wanting to help you out. You're doing a good job. Would you rather your kid be bratty and ignorant all the time?

By Icecold100 | 6

#7645981 - Saturday 9 June 2018 21:04

I find that more cute then a fml shows the kid cares about your coffee needs

By TwentyFourBeerz | 18

#7645985 - Saturday 9 June 2018 21:19

Im kinda confused now, how is this a FML? If anything its adorable and cute.

By PenguinPal3017 | 19

#7645990 - Saturday 9 June 2018 21:26

This is the type of precious life moment that anyone would be lucky to experience.

By PenguinPal3017 | 19

#7645991 - Saturday 9 June 2018 21:28

I'd say that you deserved it, but given that you thought "fml" instead of appreciating it I'd say that you didn't deserve it.

By Xikira | 7

#7645992 - Saturday 9 June 2018 21:30

This is super cute