Today, I drove to the beach for an hour to relax before returning to the intense workload of midterms. A kid walking by threw a cracker near me and I was instantly attacked by a group of seagulls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML
Today, while using a doorless restroom at the beach, a pack of seagulls rushed into my stall, followed by a group of kids chasing them. I guess the noise from tearing open a pad sounded enough like a bag of chips for them to think there was food. FML
Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML
Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML
Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
Today, I bought a delicious $17 lobster sandwich at a restaurant on the beach. The seagull who zoomed in and ripped it out of my hands as I was about to take the first bite seemed to enjoy it very much. FML
Today, I spent the only money I had left for lunch only to take two bites before a seagull snatched my burger from my hands. I had to shamefully start walking back to work with a pair of girls laughing at me and an empty stomach. FML
Today, at the beach, a seagull conveyed its opinion of my cigarette by taking a dump on it, putting it out. Seems they have anti-tobacco sniper seagulls now. FML
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Top comments
BlueJuly 3
Hey, you gotta stay positive: Now returning to your workload of midterms sounds much better and you wont miss being at the beach.
Enslaved 38
Did you run so far away?
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Comments (21)
BlueJuly 3
Hey, you gotta stay positive: Now returning to your workload of midterms sounds much better and you wont miss being at the beach.
Enslaved 38
Did you run so far away?
RichardPencil 32
Damn you, you beat me to it! For a long time, I thought the song was about a country and its distant location. Iran...so far way.
irishmaddog 0
could you say it was enough to be a flock of seagulls?
species4872 20
Well that cracked me up.
Soninuva 41
Life can be quite a beach.
species4872 20
Wombat, Eats, Roots, Shoots and Leaves.
Bonngoo 34
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
UNRELATED TO THE POST: FML get your shit together. I haven't used this app in 3 months (for a reason, ads) and the first thing I get when I open it is a 30 second add I can't skip. I have this app to read about people's shit situations, not to watch ads. Please, find some other way to milk your users, but don't make it video ads.
Jatok 17
Just close the app and re-open (swipe up on iPhone, idk what everyone is using). Once you re-open there won't be an ad.
itsalie 19
Hit the top right of the screen, it's a hidden close button
Soninuva 41
Years ago I paid 99¢ to remove all ads. I haven't seen any of them. Under settings, the option to purchase ad-removal (or restore it if previously purchased) is still there.
stargate9591 2
The best way I've found to deal with the ads is to tell them to **** off by force closing the app the moment they start playing and then re opening it. That worked for me but I eventually paid a dollar to remove the ads. It's only a buck to avoid all that hassle.
ThePaperDragon 31
I totally forgot ads existed on here! It has been years since I spent a dollar to remove ads on here. That dollar definitely seems well-spent when the amount of time I spend on here, along with the amount of time I have been free from ads is considered. That is just my two cents (or rather 99 cents) on the matter.
TheGermanCoon 3
Give that kid a cookie !
RogenP 8
Tybee Island massacre. The gulls
alaina1104 11
Thanks for the idea. Using it on all my enemies now.
bernie81000 10
lmfao