Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, I realized all of my boyfriend's and my dirty messages were being sent to my mom because I'd logged into messenger on her phone once without logging out. She sat me down and said, "I know your mouth's been on his wee wee." FML
Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
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Top comments
lionandthelamb61 9
Good going, perv.
ItsaMeLuigi 6
And she replied, "no, but mommy does"
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Comments (109)
lionandthelamb61 9
Good going, perv.
Unknown374848 2
Not really, everyone usually tries it once in their life with Google translate or something like that [:
hotscar 3
33, you type, " will Justin beiber ever hit puberty."
LifeSucksbtw 0
#1 goin* purvv.* and guud* :) io jost thot Io wold help u on yer terible spelin
jrtepechis 6
I did !
LifeSucksbtw 0
u dud wut..?
ScaughtieHolden 11
I had that. I didn't sit alone in my room and type things. around friends I did because it's funny saying things about other people. The iTouch 4G and iPhone 4G has voice over too. Good times.
megaaann_fml 9
@#36, get over yourself. That has NOTHING to do with the FML, and you're just trying to show off.
Mubus 0
just ignore 36, she is an immature child.
jakii_ 0
mimiroxii.. just STFU
atomheartm_fml 0
mimiroxii reminds me of my ex. And she was vietnameeeeese. (no point)
maz255 10
mimiroxii- i like pie.... that is all
maiimpressivetit 0
you fail. :)
kitten1800 18
I was going to give #1 an up vote but I don't want to lose the 69 :p
atomicJ 0
someone needs attention haha
LifeSucksbtw 0
lulz hoes dos thut meeen shee naeds atention!?
Mewzakuro240 0
Doesn't daddy give her enough?
winner2013 0
lol that would be funny to watch
ItsaMeLuigi 6
And she replied, "no, but mommy does"
petitchat3 0
ROFL
prince122 0
lol good one.
hallieberry 0
lol good job. lmfao!
VeraJK 16
Win ^^
PunaniSeeds 0
on the bright side, it wasn't your dad that caught you.
DearlyBeloved20 3
Win^
MrBrightside21 20
True story... Once, I forgot to delete my computer history. FML.
ToxixShots 0
Wow your a perv
savvyscarlett11 0
ooookkk, why the hell did you say that??
itsssarahjane 0
that's just disgusting.
cheif_legit 0
thats what you get for being a stupid *****
Michyxo 14
Hahahaha. But really, what a creepy thing to make it say.