Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric...

By seanjohn268 - 29/11/2011 17:21 - Canada

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 364

You deserved it 66 244

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Same thing different taste

By JBone - 22/01/2009 07:02 - Canada

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 414

You deserved it 33 325

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 344

You deserved it 29 686

By OldHabitsDieHard - 18/09/2013 14:53 - United States - Erie

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 717

You deserved it 18 748

By Mak10 - 10/12/2010 06:53 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that if you tell your child that they're old enough to cook their own food in the microwave, you have to make sure they're smart enough not to put the metal spoon in with the food as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 297

You deserved it 36 976

WTF are you doing?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 03:09 - United States

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 933

You deserved it 41 663

Shocking!

By Toasted - 29/04/2019 20:00

Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 2 561

By TexasGirl24 - 10/09/2016 12:51 - United States - Houston

Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 631

You deserved it 1 216

By upliftmofo - 28/03/2011 05:56 - Belgium

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 655

You deserved it 5 978

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 19:00

Today, I managed to electrocute myself on a plug socket while I was showing a group of trainee electricians how not to electrocute themselves while rewiring a plug socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 223

You deserved it 1 610

Test inconclusive

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to test my baking skills by making a soufflé. The recipe said to beat the egg whites until stiff peaks formed. I beat them so vigorously that the mixer launched out of the bowl and left a trail of egg whites across the kitchen. I now have egg whites on the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 435

Commander223 9

Wednesday 30 November 2011 1:29

Tard....

kmiks411 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 1:29

Take then out of the mixer too

Comments

Steve95401 49

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:36

If he put his dick in there, it would have been a new way to beat off. Way to go Einstein!

sacredeye73 11

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:38

Brouch! Been there done that.

sarahlovesyewxD 8

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:40

nice job dumbass

bakesale45 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:40

That might hurt

D3athT3ch 4

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:44

hahahaha r3tard!

xBunii18x 2

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:51

Yeah like the others said. Common sense. Unless you wanted to "beat" your tongue with the beaters? Come on now...

spudi 6

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:53

Next time when u r ironing your clothes switch your cell phone off. Lol!!!

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:53

I remember seeing a commercial and the husband's tongue was tangled in the mixer.

chels1994 11

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:55

no shit...

Xxlaurahatakexx 9

Wednesday 30 November 2011 4:05

Ouch! Damn!

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 140

You deserved it 12 374

Today, my cat tried to look out my bedroom window. To do so, she tried to stand on my air conditioner. She was unsuccessful in that endeavor, almost knocking my TV over and fucking up the side panel. Now there's an opening in my window that I can't close up. Guess I'll take the AC out and shut the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 91

The Top

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss's new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 141

You deserved it 4 402

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 886

You deserved it 4 531

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 804

You deserved it 59 537

Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 326

You deserved it 197

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 749

You deserved it 6 936

Today, I went to see John Mayer. Being 6'2", I didn't think there would be any trouble seeing the stage, until three 6'6" men stood directly in front of me, pissed in a cup and managed to spill it over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 428

You deserved it 4 779

Same thing different taste

WTF are you doing?

Shocking!

Test inconclusive

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