Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric...

By seanjohn268 - 29/11/2011 17:21 - Canada

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

agreeclassic 11 373

vote type 1 66 282

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By JBone - 22/01/2009 07:02 - Canada

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

agreeclassic 6 420

vote type 1 33 355

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

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By OldHabitsDieHard - 18/09/2013 14:53 - United States - Erie

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

agreeclassic 42 728

vote type 1 18 777

By Mak10 - 10/12/2010 06:53 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that if you tell your child that they're old enough to cook their own food in the microwave, you have to make sure they're smart enough not to put the metal spoon in with the food as well. FML

agreeclassic 10 306

vote type 1 37 009

WTF are you doing?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 03:09 - United States

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

agreeclassic 13 940

vote type 1 41 681

Shocking!

By Toasted - 29/04/2019 20:00

Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML

agreeclassic 863

vote type 1 2 613

By TexasGirl24 - 10/09/2016 12:51 - United States - Houston

Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML

agreeclassic 11 652

vote type 1 1 225

By upliftmofo - 28/03/2011 05:56 - Belgium

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

agreeclassic 36 679

vote type 1 5 986

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 19:00

Today, I managed to electrocute myself on a plug socket while I was showing a group of trainee electricians how not to electrocute themselves while rewiring a plug socket. FML

agreeclassic 3 246

vote type 1 1 625

Test inconclusive

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to test my baking skills by making a soufflé. The recipe said to beat the egg whites until stiff peaks formed. I beat them so vigorously that the mixer launched out of the bowl and left a trail of egg whites across the kitchen. I now have egg whites on the ceiling. FML

agreeclassic 171

vote type 1 470

Commander223 9

Wednesday 30 November 2011 1:29

Tard....

kmiks411 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 1:29

Take then out of the mixer too

Comments

Krazygye 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 4:38

im the words of rwj, "did it taste like chicken?"

twilightluvr101 4

Thursday 1 December 2011 4:59

I flinched a little while reading thia

tesnic6 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 5:21

.facepalm

myliferocks12381 2

Thursday 1 December 2011 6:12

Your f*cking stupid

piwikiwi93 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 6:55

DING DING DING; we have our idiot!

saintaimee 7

Thursday 1 December 2011 10:13

Bahahaha!

slushpup9696 12

Thursday 1 December 2011 10:41

Nom! Nom nom! *whirrrrrrrr* NOM!! NOM NOM NOM NOM!!! NOM NOM!!

Xxchasea12xX 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 13:33

Your kinda stupid

mag4dust 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 19:48

Dumbass....

LullzKitteh 1

Thursday 1 December 2011 21:29

FAAAAAAAKE!!! You suck ass, you lying loser!

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Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

agreeclassic 97 565

vote type 1 7 122

Today, while working in a restaurant, a woman told me I was completely incompetent, was the worst hostess she'd ever seen, and that she would call my district manager non-stop until I was fired. I'd clocked in less than 10 minutes before and hadn't said a single word to her. FML

agreeclassic 35 623

vote type 1 2 743

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

agreeclassic 65 705

vote type 1 8 235

Today, I was backpacking, and I was in a tent. It had rained all day and finally, I was dry. I settled down in my slightly damp sleeping bag. I woke up halfway through the night with a frog on my face and my feet in freezing cold water. Our tent had drifted into a frog pond. FML

agreeclassic 1 623

vote type 1 437

Today, I screamed at a taxi driver to not run over a hedgehog. He got a fright and ended up pulling over. I hopped out and ran to the middle of the road to pick up the hedgehog and leave him on the grass by the path. As I got closer and went to pick up said hedgehog, I realised it was a pinecone. FML

agreeclassic 9 192

vote type 1 6 752

Today, I found out my SO is cheating on me. He has been acting weird so I went through his phone and, sure enough, my gut was right. We have a baby and I've been raising his kids. He's wack as hell for that. FML

agreeclassic 504

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WTF are you doing?

Shocking!

Test inconclusive

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