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Maybe the nutcracker suite would have been more appropriate?

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Maybe the nutcracker suite would have been more appropriate?

Nutcracker is pretty much spot-on. You nailed it, #1.

How ironic would it be if OP was wearing those "jingle my bells" boxers.

Hey, now you will be shooting blanks so you save money on condoms

38- You ain't no Pleonasm!

44, how does Pleonasm's ass taste? I admit he is good at puns but that does not mean others cant try it. Plus, how could some one get good if they don't practise?

#1: you nailed it!

72- Whoa, chill out. Breathe, it'll all be okay. Now that you've calmed down, how's your butt? Does it still hurt?

*refills 84's supply chill pills for strangers free of charge*

72- dude you are too thirsty...

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire?

Here cums Santa balls...

Frosty the noman, If you didnt get it because his ball wont work

Last Christmas you wrecked my balls the very next day they bruised away so this year to Save me from tears il just jerk off by myself.

I feel as though you were in QUITE the hurry to get first comment, hell, the comment before you at least added punctuation!

I didn't feel it was necessary to put punctuation and I don't really care about being first sorry ....

3-- never and I repeat, never, think it is "okay" to skip out on punctuation. And in future, don't excuse your blunder by saying you didn't think it was necessary, you're just going to get downvoted into oblivion. Brace yourself, the negatives are about to hit you with full force!

Did u just read the comment above you, think it was clever and decide to copy it? Or were you just too stupid to check before hand to see if anyone posted the same thing before you?

31- Maybe before she clicked comment, the preceding comment wasn't there? Edit : Haha, just like my comment. Well done, 35.

Dear god this is why I don't comment often. Sorry I didn't put any punctuation. Also there were no comments when I went to say that so no I didn't copy the person above.

Great minds think alike :) Don't sweat the haters. It happens to everyone.

It's okay, 37. I've been on this site since 2009 and usually don't comment for that reason. Just dont let the attackers bum you out, they don't matter. It's not like future employers are going to look at your commenting history here and say "Hmm. On Dec. 2nd they forgot to use punctuation. Clearly they do not understand anything in the English language. To the employee grammar dungeon!"

Why the fuck are people down voting a reasonable comment? This is why this website sucks. I've had comments that were voted into 100 and into negatives. I'm going to go cry myself to sleep now (sarcasm for the dumb wits who need clarification).

Woah, the animosity in this thread is palatable... Over nothing. *welcomes myself to the internet*

I down-voted you too. Enjoy your sarcastic cry!

Clearly you bashers know what your talking about cause you haven't been "down-voted to oblivion" and she's not at zero at the time of my posting. Some people are just clueless.

Jesus people she commented like not even half a minute after the person before her relax! And what punctuation did she have to use? Who pissed in (some of) your Cheerios today?! (To the people who were actually kind, well done) And maybe people down voted you because you sound like a brat

Dear 3 and everyone whose hating on 3, I'm not mad, niether should you. Merry Chritsmas, 2

PS: if your ever unsure about your gramar, post a comment a wait. Works better than spell check ;)

Atleast she was having fun(: lol

It's not very fun to get your nuts smashed though...

I didn't mean it in a mean way I mean atleast she wasn't some boring girl..

Edit, edit, edit.

Certaintly not boring at all.. But personally I'm not into getting hurt there!

Ur supposed to agree with me Christian! :(

Omg ppl stop hating! It came out wrong!! My god!!

This is why I barely comment on stuff :,(

#102 if people thumb your comment down who cares. Can't please everybody around here. Now watch how many thumb downs this comment gets.

Doubt ur comment will get thumbs down..

That's why it always helps to have a safety word

The only "safe word" that I can think of here is "ow!"

69- Damn you! I was going to comment that haha. Kevin Hart!

God DAMMIT! It's not even Christmas season yet! But, hey, at least you're getting some action! On the other hand, you probably wish you weren't...

How is it not Christmas season yet?

Actually, the season began December first.

Well, I suppose, but I consider it to start the week of Christmas, on account of my blinding hatred of Christmas themed songs...

Oh it's Christmas season alright! I already ate the first chocolate out of my Spider-Man calendar!

Christmas season started as soon as thanksgiving ended. At least, according to the retailers.

I'm pretty sure it started the day of, considering stores like Walmart opened at 5 pm.

If we're going with the retailers, it started after Halloween.

Never go by the retailers, because yeah, it started after Halloween seeing as how Thanksgiving doesn't bring in that much profit. Can you say Kaching! I agree with Dec. 1 although Christmas music does start to get annoying when every radio station I listen to plays it or is on commercial. But you got to look on the bright side to what Christmas is all about.

No, if you're going with the retailers it started in September.

At least she wasn't humming "Bohemian Rhapsody".

His balls would be grapefruits

They would be smashed.

Bohemian Rhapsody? He's lucky it wasn't "Through the Fire and Flames" (guitar hero version, on expert)

#65 - Guitar Hero version? Isn't it the same as the original version...?

Just the number of notes alone...

She sounds like one smashing girlfriend. You should crack down on this behavior before it gets out of hand, though.

You should of grapped her nipples and twisted them. Only true way of revenge.

My god! It's not like she smashed OP's balls on purpose!

I agree, there HAS to be better ways to get revenge! I mean that's just cruel!

I didn't know there was a true and false way to serve revenge. Anyways, Revenge won't solve anything in this FML.

14, if OP does that, he will never have sex again.

That's a good way to get punched in the face!

At least she didn't do something related to the song "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire" kind if deal. That would be bad.