Animals: Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket....

By Cathy - 17/01/2012 00:33 - United States

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 791

You deserved it 3 429

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Same thing different taste

By katams - 26/02/2012 12:28 - United States

Today, I was going for a walk and I kept smelling pee wherever I went. After about an hour, I finally figured out that the smell was me. My dog had peed on my sweatshirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 790

You deserved it 5 303

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 19:30 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 269

Pantie thief

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 215

Warming it up

By Erin - 02/01/2021 20:01

Today, I bought an expensive blanket to help warm up for the winter. Right after I put it on the bed, my dog jumped up and peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 30/12/2018 06:00 - Australia - Carlton

Today, I found the remnants of a condom in my dog’s poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 418

You deserved it 395

Tidy your room

By Anonymous - 06/07/2020 20:03

Today, I woke up and stepped on a wet jacket. After smelling what it was, it turns out the cat had peed all over my laundry, especially the waterproof jacket, and after attempting to clean it up, it dripped everywhere and the entire apartment now smells like cat piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 447

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 442

You deserved it 4 845

By Never Again - 09/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Riverhead

Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 345

You deserved it 4 303

Stinky

By mickymoose1 - 19/07/2020 02:02

Today, my dog decided to play with a skunk. Today is also the day I figured out that no matter how much you wash everything that's come in contact with the smell, it will never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 348

You deserved it 148

Or he's a drug mule?

By jlujan00 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 493

You deserved it 3 052

antart3 18

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:03

I hope you will keep their litter :)

tmd4L 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:07

Doggy style.

Comments

antart3 18

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:03

I hope you will keep their litter :)

jonriise18 3

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:15

What!?

xSonic 9

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:20

That'd be a scary ass creature man!

Pentium_4 27

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:20

even when you neuter them they still do that lol

StoryOfTheYear 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:23

18- Coated dogs? Aw shyt boys! Run fer duh hills!

Pentium_4 27

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:26

or at least attempt to

x_KL_x 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:33

21 - Jackrussles?

girl112891 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:59

It's his favorite jacket too OP.

Jonkbaby 22

Tuesday 17 January 2012 11:50

did you buy your jacket from, Cruella Deville?

freakinglaugher 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 13:15

Why can't you just except their love, OP?!

KeyboardWarrior 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 13:58

Don't you mean accept?

theladyofepic 3

Tuesday 17 January 2012 14:14

Apparently it's also the dog's favorite jacket.

freakinglaugher 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 22:13

Dang, I messed that one up pretty bad. Really need to stop this wake up and comment thing.

maddyyghee 6

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:04

Oh yuck :/

DrMime 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:28

Better than your dog getting violently intimate with your leg. Seriously, he penetrated! But now my leg is pregnant and I'm carrying our love child

DrMime 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:35

....Or it's a horrible cyst...

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Tuesday 17 January 2012 10:29

Pop it, and put it on YouTube.

DrMime 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 10:33

I've never given birth on camera before!!! Has there ever been a birth where it's just placenta? Because that's how this would end...

ScaughtieHolden 11

Tuesday 17 January 2012 13:47

What the **** is the matter with you..

ljbgamer 1

Tuesday 17 January 2012 14:23

Sell it on eBay

Complaining 13

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:06

Perhaps you should give your dog your coat then. Aside from that, got any funny remarks about the coat lately?

CalCommando 6

Tuesday 17 January 2012 12:30

"Your coat smells very... unique."

stickyvikky285 9

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:06

That's gross ..

Fiskerz 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:48

He just really likes you and the jacket reminds him of you!

GoW_Chick 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 10:40

Is that gross STICKY Vikky? I mean you might be the expert on this subject...

tmd4L 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:07

Doggy style.

cBlackout 13

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:12

Took the words right out of my mouth.

cheesiestcake 1

Wednesday 25 January 2012 1:37

Ikr

StoryOfTheYear 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:07

At least it's warm when you need it?

GoW_Chick 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 10:34

Nothing beats putting on a warm, sticky, slighty salty smelling jacket on a chilly winter morning.

shazza26 1

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:10

If she was in australia, it would be worse becaus it's summer

CaptainCola 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:09

It's the dog's favorite jacket too

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:09

Your dog needs a ducky..

rogue2888 4

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:12

Cut it's rocks out lol

RawrzIIshScareh 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:13

That's smexii. Maybe you should get him a girlfriend.

death_dolphin24 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 3:38

You mean a bitch?

MrMustangg 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:14

I guess it's your dogs favourite jacket too

YDIomg 9

Tuesday 17 January 2012 16:38

My cat did that with an old stuffy I had when I was younger, but after we got him fixed he stopped.

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

Today, I was been accused of stealing lunches from the fridge at work. I’m a huge germaphobe and would NEVER eat someone else’s food, but because I’m the fattest one in the office, everyone automatically blamed me. Hashtag fatgirlproblems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 153

The Top

Today, it's been a dozen years since I had sex, as my husband is mentally dealing with molestation as a kid by his uncle. Meanwhile, his mother is on vacation with the molester. Yes, she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 114

Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 132

You deserved it 4 430

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 891

You deserved it 8 674

Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends and we joke around a lot, so I jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harassment charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 206

You deserved it 17 070

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 173

You deserved it 3 534

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122 474

You deserved it 13 418

Same thing different taste

Good boy

Pantie thief

Warming it up

Tidy your room

Stinky

Or he's a drug mule?

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