Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML
Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
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Top comments
gs_fml 0
this is soo funny the OP is saying that they heard their mom talking on the phone talking about how paolo (maybe a boyfriend?) has a big penis, he's good in bed, and that the hotel sheet still remember it all. the OP is just saying that just cuz their mom is on the phone, it doesn't mean that no one could hear what she has to say.
killkillkill 0
lol whats paolo's last name
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Comments (44)
HelloSeattle 0
Who's Paolo? :S
16_011 0
dont get it
Faced159 0
Awesome!
gs_fml 0
this is soo funny the OP is saying that they heard their mom talking on the phone talking about how paolo (maybe a boyfriend?) has a big penis, he's good in bed, and that the hotel sheet still remember it all. the OP is just saying that just cuz their mom is on the phone, it doesn't mean that no one could hear what she has to say.
meleecow 0
ahh... thanks #14 for clearing that up ;p
jEvOn 0
wOw .....!
cmac86 24
None of what you said made any sense. It's English, but it doesn't make a lick of sense.
audreyfotc 0
it does...this post is actually worded extremely well.
locomotion 0
Just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean it doesn't make sense.
theworstthing 7
How does it not make sense?
chelsea12 0
lmfao funny as hell
sw95volleyball 0
(: this is funny .
KonM4N4Life 0
Thanks #13 for clearing that up...ewwwww