Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried to talk to my boyfriend about our communication problems. He fell asleep. FML
Today, after laying down to sleep, my boyfriend seemed like he was having trouble trying to say something. After asking what was wrong a couple of times, he said, "I don't want to do this anymore" and got up and left. I had planned on telling him I love him. Saved myself some embarrassment I guess. FML
Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three-hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
Today, I finally got up the courage to talk to my four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently, and how I needed his support while I try to get my self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
It was his dick size wasn't it OP? They say people who keep back information or lie say it in their sleep.
br0ccoli 15
"His dick looks exactly like mine before the surgery. He doesn't even know. He doesn't even know... Turtle has been hidden."
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (114)
matt98_fml 13
Maybe OP muttered someone elses name while she was sleeping.
rattusrattus 19
"Oh Benedict Cumberbatch, spank me harder!"
matt98_fml 13
I wanna name my child that. :3
alissa222 15
But then he'll get the nickname bendy dick cum on my baps. D:
molzipan 16
I know that if I was muttering about Benedict my patner wouldn't mind. That man is a fox.
Paco_el_Taco 17
Can't put the cat back in the bag!
flutter4 7
She can try lol
pxndiieinsanity 6
Schrödinger will not like that.
lukep135 6
*snore snore* your brothers dick is bigger *snore snore
olpally 33
I must admit I had a good chuckle at this comment... Lol. Well done! :D
perdix 31
You gave him your tips for faking orgasms.
icrest80 4
Since when does perdix get thumbed down?
Cartera 10
A lot recently
BlackRogue 8
Perdix-you should have 35 in stead of 33 :( I tried to thumb you up(thumb-up you?) on my phone and I hit the wrong one...my bad.
verkaderk 9
Lol I do it all the time too. My fiancé just laughs though
chimichangaballs 7
Me too but my fiancé gets mad! He's supposed to ask me the code word now so he can tell if I'm actually conscious or talking in my sleep again but he forgets & I wake up to him pissed off "Stop lying! You were talking to me!" "Baby I was asleep! I don't know what's going on!" It's so annoying
nina21194 12
Sorry hun
DespairFaction 11
You probably said another guys name and how huge he was compared to your current partner.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Probably...
itsharkley 8
"Oh, Justin.. I love being a belieber"
Bigmoneyshotz 0
Take a short step off a tall cliff and go kill yourself!
atitud3 12
I think he was hinting that OP is a "beaverbeaber" and bevause of what she said about beaver in her sleep, the boyfriend left her. Don't worry. I don't like beavers.
kms1777 6
That has to suck. I talk in my sleep and my cousins use it against me all the time. It can ruin quite a lot of relationships. Romantic, Friendships, Family, etc. Sorry OP!
Pandacupcakelove 26
That must suck! :( I only talked in my sleep once and all I said was "Oh no!", luckily :P If I always talked in my sleep... I would probably be in a mental hospital! X)
Dogbite1313 5
That's why I let people know I talk in my sleep.
UsernameHere234 13
That's the best course of action prior to sleep talking and OP will probably do that from now on but its clear she didn't know she talks in her sleep prior to this occurrence
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Last night, I had a dream I was trying to helping a car crash victim. I screamed "help, help! I'm in need of assistance!" and ended up being the laughing stock of the family.
Dogbite1313 5
Trust me she would know, I've done it since I was little. My family always joked with me about it.
UsernameHere234 13
Some people wake up when they sleep talk, true, but not everyone. I sleep talk and only sometimes do I wake up because of it.
Dogbite1313 5
Who said anything about people waking up do to talking in their sleep I missed that?