Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me. Why? I was late for our date. We arrived at the restaurant together. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
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Top comments
Charlie Given 28
Sounds like she was planning on breaking up at the dinner and just used that as the excuse.
bloopaloop 27
Sounds like the best thing that could have happened
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Comments (24)
MidnaLink 35
She does understand how “random chance” works, right?
Charlie Given 28
Sounds like she was planning on breaking up at the dinner and just used that as the excuse.
tounces7 28
Clearly she's not very creative or very bright then, if that's the best she could come up with.
Topper369 3
Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
bloopaloop 27
Sounds like the best thing that could have happened
chosha_fml 27
Thank God. Imagine being with someone that stupid and unfair long term.
manb91uk 22
Do you see that bullet next to you? Yep, you dodged it! Well done, buddy!
GamerChickxoxo 16
-a moment of silence for our fallen comrade -did you atleast get a doggy bag for the bitch ?
demix_fml 32
Lucky escape?....
RichardPencil 32
Yeah, that’s the real reason. You don’t want to know...
Bubbilility 27
Was she not there to pick her food? How long was she in the toilet? This is just strange behaviour. You might be better off.