Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML
Today, my father-in-law shat himself in my bathroom and tried to flush some of the evidence down my sink. Sink that I'd just cleaned up. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML
Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML
Today, I went up to take a shower. I typically go to the bathroom first, I take a mega dump, then flush the toilet. Not only wouldn't the toilet flush but I found out my parents only keep one plunger on hand. It was in the downstairs bathroom. My dad came upstairs and plunged the toilet while I stood there naked. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
amiebran 3
Shit in his
ChickenLegs937 6
What's wrong with his bathroom?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (176)
perdix 31
Maybe he's on Ambien and he's sleep-********. It's just like sleepwalking, only shitty.
phatdaddy62 23
His house, his bathroom!
nomforlife 0
Because you totally have that bathroom reserved at three in the morning. Shit happens. YDI
dannydude1 0
You have your own bathroom? And are complaining about someone who pays for it? Spoiled
crazyaces89 7
Sometimes my parents use my bathroom...don't love that but idc...if he flushes it then who cares
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
Put some hot sauce on the toilet seat and unscrew the light so he can't see it. Or you can wait until he goes in there and go up outside the door and blow air horns or scream in a megaphone, or do both until he leaves.
Origomali 0
Unless you're over 18 and own the house then it is HIS bathroom.
kittyistwix 2
This would be a completely different and funnier story if he didn't live with or near you! XD
Cupcakeshizz 0
Set a booby-trap!
sgtgrim570 0
Do you live in his house? If you do, it's his bathroom. He can crap where he wants. Deal with it.
samicna 4
if it's his house it's his bathroom! bot much you can do!