Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML
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Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML
Today, my father-in-law shat himself in my bathroom and tried to flush some of the evidence down my sink. Sink that I'd just cleaned up. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML
Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML
Today, I went up to take a shower. I typically go to the bathroom first, I take a mega dump, then flush the toilet. Not only wouldn't the toilet flush but I found out my parents only keep one plunger on hand. It was in the downstairs bathroom. My dad came upstairs and plunged the toilet while I stood there naked. FML
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Top comments
amiebran 3
Shit in his
ChickenLegs937 6
What's wrong with his bathroom?
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Comments (176)
Zombie65 0
And who's house is it? Your the one paying the mortgage? YDI
Lights_Out_fml 6
Put seran wrap in the toilet so it pops back up at him.
munny_fml 7
Hahhhah monumental??
stupdude3 8
Your dad is awesome.
madibrielle212 0
I'd tell him to use his own dang bathroom! I used to hate when my step dad did that. He did it till I yelled at him. Itsss sooo gross.
kendrakay2000 0
R u paying rent or does he own the house? Just saying.... Doesn't sound like it's ur bathroom
hellonyancat 6
I'm not sure why it bothers you but if you want him to stop, steal the handle/flusher/whatever you have. Then he'll either leave behind evidence for you to confront him with or he won't use your toilet.
structuredchaoz 4
How about move into your own place. He's technically ******** in HIS bathroom.
pureinsight 0
Itching powder on your toilet seat
akallaan 7
F your life how? It's a bathroom. Apparently, you're living good to have your own "personal" bathroom. I Say YDI for being ungrateful.