Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML
Today, my father-in-law shat himself in my bathroom and tried to flush some of the evidence down my sink. Sink that I'd just cleaned up. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML
Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML
Today, I went up to take a shower. I typically go to the bathroom first, I take a mega dump, then flush the toilet. Not only wouldn't the toilet flush but I found out my parents only keep one plunger on hand. It was in the downstairs bathroom. My dad came upstairs and plunged the toilet while I stood there naked. FML
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Top comments
amiebran 3
Shit in his
ChickenLegs937 6
What's wrong with his bathroom?
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Comments (176)
jordanlr1234 6
Turd in his, leave it in there, seat right up.
Mithylove 13
Just instal one of those little air freshener thingies, or buy a security camera and feed it to your tv then play it for him.
Gourmet_Taco 0
He's just proud and wants others to see. when I take a huge dump I take pictures of it on my phone. great icebreaker.
raaawwwrrZ 8
Two words: electrified seat.
ifailplzinsultme 0
I sent my girlfriend pictures of my heart shaped dump.
StuuPididiot 4
put Saran wrap over the bowl before bed
victo890 11
Next time take your camera lol !!! FYL !! Ur bathroom should smell like .... I fell bad for you good luck oh don't forget next time snip snap!!!;)
tomsantos 0
One night stay up and confront him as he is taking said poop
DustyStorm 16
and who is paying the bills? I think he can take a monumental dump wherever he likes.... Just sayin'..... I live with mom and I'd never snivel about this because it's her house....not mine.
DustyStorm 16
agreed!!!!!