Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML
Today, my father-in-law shat himself in my bathroom and tried to flush some of the evidence down my sink. Sink that I'd just cleaned up. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML
Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML
Today, I went up to take a shower. I typically go to the bathroom first, I take a mega dump, then flush the toilet. Not only wouldn't the toilet flush but I found out my parents only keep one plunger on hand. It was in the downstairs bathroom. My dad came upstairs and plunged the toilet while I stood there naked. FML
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Top comments
amiebran 3
Shit in his
ChickenLegs937 6
What's wrong with his bathroom?
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Comments (176)
Iknoweverything 29
If you're living in his house, and he pays all the bills, it doesn't matter if it's your bathroom... he can monumental dump wherever he wants!
L_Lovegood 19
Yeah, he has a rigth to use her bathroom, but 1: They must have more than one bathroom, since she/he has her/his own, and therefore OP should have reasonable privacy in there. And 2: He's being an ass for denying(not sure if spelled right) it - I hate itvwhen people does that.
LASERZ7 4
Monumental?
badactor009 0
"monumental dump" LMAO! Not an ordinary old run of the mill Dad load for the toilet. Watch out, it's another monumental dump! Sweet dreams.
bretty_boieeeeyy 0
um I don't see the problem. I could understand if he didn't flush but it's at 3:00 so what's the matter?
AdolfShitler 0
"it's my house, I'll shit where the hell I want!!!...now go get me some more toilet paper, bitch!"
tstevenson 0
So...
TKello 6
What's the big deal? So he uses your bathroom? So what? Are you telling me you don't use HIS bathroom when you need to go? (I'm assuming you two live under the same house and he is the home owner). Honestly the best thing you can do right now is put a can of air fresher and ask him to spray when he goes. If your parents are married and they have their own bathroom, he probably doesn't want his wife to deal with the smell. :p After all, he wants to get laid I imagine. ...Or your porcelain throne is oddly warm at 3am...
KickItHigh 32
Why does he wake up at devil's hour to do it?
salvorican 24
Because the man needs to release his demons
catnip1997 0
well are you the one paying for all the bills?
SuperSukh 6
Just stay up and catch him.