Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML
Today, my father-in-law shat himself in my bathroom and tried to flush some of the evidence down my sink. Sink that I'd just cleaned up. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML
Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML
Today, I went up to take a shower. I typically go to the bathroom first, I take a mega dump, then flush the toilet. Not only wouldn't the toilet flush but I found out my parents only keep one plunger on hand. It was in the downstairs bathroom. My dad came upstairs and plunged the toilet while I stood there naked. FML
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Top comments
amiebran 3
Shit in his
ChickenLegs937 6
What's wrong with his bathroom?
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Comments (176)
SpLo0gIeR 9
Maybe he's sleep ********
Roozb 18
Sleep ********! Awesome description!
incoming_pudding 9
No word of a lie I have a good friend that actually does this! It's the weirdest form of sleep waking I've ever encountered! He'll just get up, wander off (still snoring like a banshee, I might add) and goes and takes the nastiest *****... I only found out as the smell woke me up and I heard snoring coming from the bathroom... Trouble is he also has a tendency to accidentally destroy the bathroom while he's off on his little adventures so I often have to go and retrieve him. Thankfully all I'm required to do is gently guide him back to bed so it could be much worse! Even though he's been my best friend for years and he stays the night so often he may as well just move in it still catches me off guard somehow.
NiZmO_Z32 0
I'm guessing it's his house so it's not your bathroom. Get a job and move out you whiny little brat.
madskittlesftw 5
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
incoming_pudding 9
Jesus Christ, who shit in your cornflakes...
itsgen 16
while he's taking a dump burst in there and beat him up! (x and record it like in jackass I'm sure ur dad won't deny it then
ximeldax 0
yes, that will solve all of OP's *puts on sunglasses* shitty problems.
bellakaykid 6
Go lay a mountain on his throne. See how he likes it then.
MangoRico1 1
Who knew dads took dumps? And you thought he was full of shit...
salvorican 24
I don't understand why ur comment was thumbed down. I thought it was genius :D
Predental 5
Its his house, he can drop a deuce where ever he wants.
summerbreeze888 10
cool story bro. telll it again
indistructo 3
lock ur room?
wannabeperfect1 0
It's 3 am why do you care, you should be asleep
ifailplzinsultme 0
Grunting noises wake you up though
dino2muffin2 0
Put glue on the seat, and if your a guy run in with a camera (the ones that show the time and date of the picture ) and say "DO YOU DENY IT NOW?!?!" and spray him with febreez :3
bwenduh45 7
Epic win! :D
Eggers 2
The outcome is that you get to film your father naked on the toilet... Who really wins there?