Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, my mom revoked my shower privileges for a week, all because I'm “using too much water.” I'm the kind of person who will smell like garbage after one skipped shower. FML
Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML
Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML
Today, I had to tell my 30 year-old boyfriend to take a shower, or else he won't for a week. FML
Today, my dad learned that I sometimes waffle stomp in the shower if I wake up late. He built a shower stall outside and has threatened to kick me out if he ever finds me showering inside again. I get that it's kinda gross but this is a massive overreaction. What will I do in winter? FML
Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML
Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I’m showering at a local firehouse. Why? Because our shower is broken and my dad refuses to fix it, or get someone to fix it for us. It’s been a year and a half since I've showered in my own home. FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
Your dad sounds like a dick
myoukei 31
You need to talk to your mom about this because he is a tyrant
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Comments (263)
Girlshotdown1 21
I would hate my life.
caliguy08 17
Gay
ZomBSlayR 12
I suggest showering when he isn't around ! And when he gets a shower, I'd shut off the hot water so he has to take a cold shower.
Chickenridder 1
**** him!
chosha_fml 27
Why isn't your mother defending you? You shouldn't have to give up your phone for a rule you didn't even know. And is she taking 3min showers now? Is he, for that matter?
cathrope 10
I've found out that most moms' stop giving a damn about their kids after marrying and moving in with a new man. But what do I know.
IndefiniteBeauty 17
I hope you do the same to him and take your phone back when you're done. He's not your father. Also talk to your mom about this.
Callmeseansaur 9
Wait for him to have a shower. See how long it takes him. 3 minutes is not enough time to shower. Sit down with him, explain this calmly.
B00K_L0V3R93 31
FYL indeed. That is completely unacceptable OP. 3 minutes is simply not enough time to shower properly, especially for a female. And taking your phone for a week for an extra minute is simply extortion. You need to have a serious talk to both your Mum and your Step Dad and get this sorted pronto. Hope it get's better OP.
leogachi 15
@39 I didn't have a phone for until I was 22 (24 now) and I can tell you they are definitely not a necessity. That being said, Op's step-dad is an asshole.
gilligan_isle 6
Obviously there should be a conversation between OP and their mom and maybe even this new step father. But a 3 min shower is possible, not fun but possible. We had shower drills in basic training and had ONE min. I'm sure your family will come around though