Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, my mom revoked my shower privileges for a week, all because I'm “using too much water.” I'm the kind of person who will smell like garbage after one skipped shower. FML
Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML
Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML
Today, I had to tell my 30 year-old boyfriend to take a shower, or else he won't for a week. FML
Today, my dad learned that I sometimes waffle stomp in the shower if I wake up late. He built a shower stall outside and has threatened to kick me out if he ever finds me showering inside again. I get that it's kinda gross but this is a massive overreaction. What will I do in winter? FML
Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML
Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I’m showering at a local firehouse. Why? Because our shower is broken and my dad refuses to fix it, or get someone to fix it for us. It’s been a year and a half since I've showered in my own home. FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
Your dad sounds like a dick
myoukei 31
You need to talk to your mom about this because he is a tyrant
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Comments (263)
worldclassrager 41
I guess you should wash your hair in the sink...unless you can get this sorted out...
chosha_fml 27
#105 they're more of a necessity than they used to be, given how hard it is now to find a pay phone. And even if it's possible to get by without one, and assuming you want to be without one, it inconveniences everyone around you because they are so normal now.
failalltheway 22
Kill him
Ozzien 26
I don't think prison showers are much better...
writerchic85 26
I guess he likes your mom with greasy hair and hairy legs because just about all anyone can do is wash their body in three minutes. Shower when he's not home. Or get up before him and shower.
Solano2580 24
From what I can gather it seems that he just cares about himself and OP's mom, the mom won't do anything because she doesn't want to ruin the marriage. So OP, you're pretty much screwed until you can move out, when you do, make sure he doesn't contact you when he realizes the marriage will collapse without you supporting it by him being extreme with you.
emisara93 18
He sounds like a jerk. :/
danihammer 4
That doesn't even sound strict, that just sounds crazy. Sorry your mom married this psycho
Psycho_Babydoll 26
My stepdad used to do this, oh my god. He didn't understand that unless you're just going for an in-out quick wash, you CANNOT take such a quick shower. I know the pain of standing shivering in a shower cubicle with shampoo lathered up in my hair and no running water while some asshat yells through the door for me to 'stop wasting water'. FYL.
interesting33 37
Wait there are TWO people with such unreasonable expectations?? I mean this is ridiculous - I can't believe other people have the same idea. Did you manage to sort it?
Amaxin 2
Just offer to do chores for longer showers. Life is about give and take. Just work a deal with him instead
Eror_No_Name 15
Jeez, most camp sites in California (while in a drought) give at least 6 seconds per token. That sucks Opp