Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, my mom revoked my shower privileges for a week, all because I'm “using too much water.” I'm the kind of person who will smell like garbage after one skipped shower. FML
Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML
Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML
Today, I had to tell my 30 year-old boyfriend to take a shower, or else he won't for a week. FML
Today, my dad learned that I sometimes waffle stomp in the shower if I wake up late. He built a shower stall outside and has threatened to kick me out if he ever finds me showering inside again. I get that it's kinda gross but this is a massive overreaction. What will I do in winter? FML
Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML
Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I’m showering at a local firehouse. Why? Because our shower is broken and my dad refuses to fix it, or get someone to fix it for us. It’s been a year and a half since I've showered in my own home. FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
Your dad sounds like a dick
myoukei 31
You need to talk to your mom about this because he is a tyrant
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Comments (263)
jezka374 15
Give him one minute the next time he gets in and cut it off at the source.
xcrunner5671 4
I feel like there are a lot of fmls about step parents
rabbi1010 29
i would take the stinky road and stop taking showers. if your teachers start asking i would tell them that your stepdad will not allow you to shower. that would be a great phone call home. or shower at a friends house.
Mibby 11
Cut off his ability to procreate at the source... or just tell your mom. If your mom doesn't care you're in crap territory. Start planning your exit.
interesting33 37
Well cutting off his member is extreme - maybe just try talking to your mother, and many other options before considering- in fact, let's just take castration OFF the options list.
starlight88 21
Does he limit your mom to 3 minute showers?
interesting33 37
good point!! Power trip I think..
bbychii 20
take baths?
LadyLuck93 20
Sounds like he's a manipulative, control freak & not even ur real dad on top of it.. god help you. Its just the beginning, if I were in ur position I tell mom immediately about his actions before he takes toll of everything else. Good luck.
bad_boyfriend 10
Kids are such whiners. My dad used to limit us to 4 minute showers. If you complained he would offer you a "navy shower" which consisted of a minute to get wet, then the water was turned off as long as you wanted while you soaped up, and a minute to rinse off. When you pay the bills you can take showers as long as you want.
tamesenicole 27
You have a point at the end. And yall must've been a big family if you only got 4 dern minutes for a shower
SpeakUpFYL 4
Four minutes is a really short shower. Regardless of the time limit, stepdad needs to inform her of the new rule and time limit prior to the shower. She is not a mind reader.
LadyLuck93 20
Im sorry but if it was a stranger aka 'step-dad' invading my home, giving me orders how to take a shower, then making a deal on confiscating my phone for 1 fkn week just for another minute in the shower uhm **** no.. im sure you wouldn't like it either. It takes a lot longer than 4 minutes to completely rinse yourself off. Wow this isn't the army for crying out loud. I understand bills & all that stuff, but a 4min shower wont do for anybody. Gosh.
tamesenicole 27
Wtf it might take HIM that long to clean his nasty behind but a girl needs at LEAST 30-45 minutes to make sure you're actually CLEAN!!!!! He's not the only person that lives there
betweenwinds 18
Man, unless you've been rolling in mud and unmentionables, there's no way anyone needs 45 minutes to get clean. 10-15 minutes is plenty to wash your hair and do a thorough scrub.
leogachi 15
@63 I'm a girl and my showers last 10-15 minutes max. There's no reason your showers should take a half of an hour.
toomanyidiots 14
Soaping, scrubbing, and rinsing body: ~5 minutes Shaving (not just legs...): ~10 minutes Shampooing thigh-length hair: ~2-5 minutes Rinsing that hair: ~2-5 minutes Conditioning that hair: ~5 minutes Rinsing it again: ~5 minutes There you go, a half-hour shower... (The hair is ~3 feet long, for the record)
RealSuperSand 21
If you can kick his ass I suggest you play that card real quick. He's not your real dad and he's a manipulating controlling asshat, and in my experience these people seldom listen to logic and reason leaving beat his ass to be the only viable solution. Good luck OP.
bigwhiskey69 6
If you try that start with a throat puns then kick him in the nuts then slam his face on your knee after that just do what ever