Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, my mom revoked my shower privileges for a week, all because I'm “using too much water.” I'm the kind of person who will smell like garbage after one skipped shower. FML
Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML
Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML
Today, I had to tell my 30 year-old boyfriend to take a shower, or else he won't for a week. FML
Today, my dad learned that I sometimes waffle stomp in the shower if I wake up late. He built a shower stall outside and has threatened to kick me out if he ever finds me showering inside again. I get that it's kinda gross but this is a massive overreaction. What will I do in winter? FML
Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML
Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I’m showering at a local firehouse. Why? Because our shower is broken and my dad refuses to fix it, or get someone to fix it for us. It’s been a year and a half since I've showered in my own home. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JMichael 26
Your dad sounds like a dick
myoukei 31
You need to talk to your mom about this because he is a tyrant
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (263)
bapbap_fml 15
3 minutes? My parents would just shut the hot water off after 10 minutes and you'd have to rinse off in cold water. No water after 3 minutes is excessive, especially if you have long hair to wash or body parts to shave.
citrusglass 22
He's a bit of a cheapskate...
Beccag7 14
Now you tell him to grow out his hair. Then have him try to wash it twice, condition it and shave his legs and pits all in three minutes.
Algorithm 24
I wish I could upvote this comment twice. Not all shower needs are created equal.
Kramer1998 20
What the heck, how cheap is he
rec_chem 22
He has to sleep sometime. That's when you should shower from now on.
amber3120 15
Sounds like my dad
Zgamerz 11
*Dad, god dammit, we're in the middle of a drouughhht.
fariss 14
Such a SHAMe, what a POO he is
Bookworm1982 4
He didn't tell you before you started your shower? There is no rule, he is a perv that wanted to see you naked. Lock your bedroom door tonight. Towards the end of the week, he will probably tell you that you broke another rule and that the time till you get your phone back has been extended. Steal it back. Without your phone, you are isolated. That is how abusers operate.
13unluckystars 3
wow, my step dad did the same, but at least I got 8 minutes.