Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote...

By supergirl7 - United States

Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

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Miscellaneous

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

She'll learn

Don't engage with these people

By mybfthecrossdresser - Australia - Scarborough

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

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36805

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3972

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By AmICrappyEveryOtherDay - Canada

Today, I received my first compliment in a really long time. It went, "Hey, you don't look like crap today." FML

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29278

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4289

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By Wow - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was on the internet playing a game. I have a speech impediment, and the guy running it told me to get off his server for making fun of disabled people. FML

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51034

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By buggyluv - United States - Edwardsville

Today, at my new job, a coworker offered to help me mop the floors since she wasn't busy. I ended up getting written up by my boss for supposedly being too lazy and making other people finish my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12271

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933

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By Noname - United States

Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39183

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3656

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By anonymous - United States - Elk River

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38699

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3593

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By Mia

Today, I wanted to bake some chocolate chip cookies. As the first load was done, I tasted a cookie and it tasted too salty. Thinking it was because of the pinch of salt, I added more sugar to the batter, only to realize that the sugar I've put into the whole batter was actually salt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1041

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2312

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30000

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By Gagging - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I opened my front door to be greeted by what I can only describe as the stink of death. After moving furniture and lifting floorboards, frantically searching for whatever had died, I finally discovered the actual source of the stench - my girlfriend's feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30351

You deserved it

2766

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By zinka - United States

Today, I took the bus to Boston. My bike is in Boston. My bike lock is in Boston. The key is in New York. FML

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16864

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By iJuli - United States - Billings

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML

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29292

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By Hungry - United States - Appleton

Today, I got written up at work for clocking back in from lunch early. Yesterday I got a verbal warning for coming back late. I'm scared to go to lunch at all now. FML

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43796

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By Single - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23966

You deserved it

2936

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By Jenbearish

Today, the laziest person in my department came and complained to me, while I was working, that they didn't know why we were so far behind today. Then they went to chat to their friend for 45 minutes. I know why. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15739

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1055

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By Boyufd

Too late

Today, I bought a replacement ID after weeks looking for my old one and not finding it. When I got home, my brother said he'd found my ID. FML

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1375

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189

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By wow

Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML

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27369

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3441

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By anon

Roll with it

Today, my boyfriend encouragingly told me that he could tell I was losing weight, all because I had one roll fewer than usual on my stomach. FML

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1428

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275

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By struckbystarzz - United States - Taunton

Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML

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29410

You deserved it

4062

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By anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

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27808

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7423

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By Anonymous - United States - Topeka

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24370

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1728

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By Perry85

Not my turn

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML

I agree, your life sucks

3070

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940

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By mr_dinzaster

Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML

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765

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1739

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By Bree - United States

Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML

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40300

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By anon - United Kingdom - Wareham

Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML

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23427

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By Anonymous

Today, I was playing with my hedgehog and he started licking my face. I thought it was super cute, until he latched onto my eyelid with his teeth. He then created a ball of saliva and blood and coated his body in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4763

You deserved it

1007

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By peevedemployee - United States

Today, we got our Christmas bonuses. Instead of money, the company decided to give us all lunch boxes with the company name on them. I went ahead and put my lunch in mine, then put it in the break-room refrigerator. Apparently so did all the other employees. Now I can't find mine. FML

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41037

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By somanybirds - United States - Jacksonville

Today, while using a doorless restroom at the beach, a pack of seagulls rushed into my stall, followed by a group of kids chasing them. I guess the noise from tearing open a pad sounded enough like a bag of chips for them to think there was food. FML

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4706

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By Anonymous

Snoop

Today, I went through my boyfriend’s emails and found out that he cheated on me the day before he asked me to move in with him. FML

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1727

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321

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By FrustratedTutor - United States - Andover

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that "pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

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36694

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2810

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By fuckingcool

Today, my mother once again brought up how I would have done so much better in my Track season if I just smiled while I ran. Apparently, if you just smile, your brain won't know you're in pain. I don't think it works like that, but thanks for the advice mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13570

You deserved it

1020

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By Anonymous

Today, I bought a car off my aunt, then I got 7 speeding tickets. Apparently my aunt forgot to tell me the speedometer is faulty, so while I thought I was doing a safe 28 or 29 mph in the 30 zone on my way to work, I was probably doing closer to 35 or 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2504

That could've happened to me

393

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By howsthisforaname - United Kingdom - Kingston Upon Hull

Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML

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20692

You deserved it

2131

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By spockswifey - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he had ever cheated on me. In the most sincere and honest tone, he said "if I ever have or ever will, there's no way you would ever find out. I love you too much to lose you", and gave me a hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40922

You deserved it

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By jobless

Today, I received a rejection e-mail from a potential employer I interviewed with. I asked for some feedback and they said I didn't seem interested. I had showed extensive interest, even brought up some of the company's recent events, and literally said, "I'm very interested in this position." FML

I agree, your life sucks

5342

You deserved it

414

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By HDcashier

Graded

Today, while cashiering, I rang out a father and his son who looked about eight years-old. The dad jokingly told his son that I was a 10/10 in looks. The son then looked at me for a few seconds and said, "No, probably more like a seven". Thanks a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1575

You deserved it

171

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By Anonymous - 2/9/2020 17:02

Late bloomer

Today, I’m at the age where I should be married or in a committed relationship and having kids. Instead, I’m STILL single. I haven’t had a first date or a first kiss. If any of that changes, luck and time aren’t going to be on my side because biologically I won’t be able to have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1437

You deserved it

286

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By spitball101 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53543

You deserved it

4922

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By WTFwhywouldyoudothat - United Kingdom

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31949

You deserved it

4346

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my boyfriend of a year kissing another girl. When I walked up to confront him about it, he tried to convince the other girl he didn't know who I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45221

You deserved it

3258

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By dadum - Australia

Creeped out

Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML

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42421

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3666

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Top comments

By txgirl2013 | 14

#2985600 - Thursday 28 July 2011 9:07

Pretty helpful talent if you ask me..

By iAmScrubs | 19

#2985758 - Thursday 28 July 2011 9:34

That's one of the most impressive talents. Right up there with licking your elbow.

COMMENTS

By txgirl2013 | 14

#2985600 - Thursday 28 July 2011 9:07

Pretty helpful talent if you ask me..

chuckychan | 8

#2985704 - Thursday 28 July 2011 10:03

hey you can get your fmls posted! i can never do that!

Wandering_Ninja | 8

#2985728 - Thursday 28 July 2011 9:14

Well I guess it will keep your greasy hands from getting the remote dirty... Instead it will be smelly and covered in dead feet skin.

AsianCookie247 | 14

#2985875 - Thursday 28 July 2011 11:52

Ew.. feet are fucking disgusting.

TheRealPeter | 6

#2986099 - Thursday 28 July 2011 12:44

Nhyeayeayeayeyayeyea you can do that to?

iSitt | 0

#2986637 - Thursday 28 July 2011 15:59

then someone uses it with their hands then rubs their eyes?

hellbilly205 | 17

#2987440 - Thursday 28 July 2011 17:14

i can do this to. maybe were twins. :D

hellbilly205 | 17

#2987468 - Thursday 28 July 2011 17:18

Today i relized i had the same talent of an fml'er. FML

chuckychan | 8

#2988714 - Thursday 28 July 2011 20:34

watch out for athletes foot :P

redsfan | 4

#2990595 - Friday 29 July 2011 3:13

Lol, this gives a new meaning to athlete's foot!

neimato1 | 0

#2990856 - Friday 29 July 2011 4:14

i use this talent all the time! thats how i play the wii

NastyNinja31 | 0

#2991175 - Friday 29 July 2011 5:29

Americas got talent

sskarma23 | 9

#2991865 - Friday 29 July 2011 7:52

well at least now you can use your hands to do other things.... like find a new talent perhaps?

idontcare8l | 3

#2992286 - Friday 29 July 2011 9:16

12 feet are cleaner than hands!

By iAmScrubs | 19

#2985758 - Thursday 28 July 2011 9:34

That's one of the most impressive talents. Right up there with licking your elbow.

cudi504 | 4

#2985862 - Thursday 28 July 2011 11:47

i can honestly say i'm jealous... i always hit the wrong button when i try :(

22cute | 17

#2987480 - Thursday 28 July 2011 17:19

There are probably a lot of other fun and useful things you can do with your feet. Don't knock it.

greg84_fml | 21

#2989485 - Thursday 28 July 2011 23:20

Lies! It's physically impossible to lick your elbow.

powersticks | 16

#2991041 - Friday 29 July 2011 4:54

I see what you did there.

gogetsome | 0

#2999916 - Saturday 30 July 2011 7:16

sick hat where'd u get it??

By BeautifulDemonKP | 4

#2985760 - Thursday 28 July 2011 10:37

well thats a starter for a talent.... :3

banana1227 | 0

#2991657 - Friday 29 July 2011 7:06

I hate you whalemegin

By Tesaatje | 12

#2985766 - Thursday 28 July 2011 10:39

maybe your only talent, but at least a very impressive one.

kmumma | 3

#2989160 - Thursday 28 July 2011 22:07

americas got talent 2012?

By Ugi | 26

#2985772 - Thursday 28 July 2011 10:39

I'm with 4 - that takes some doing!

Edit - this was posted as a reply to 1 - see I can't even get that right so your Wayyy ahead of me!

By Climaxx | 11

#2985803 - Thursday 28 July 2011 10:58

Ever tried getting outside outside of watching T.V?

nikkon416 | 13

#2986196 - Thursday 28 July 2011 13:11

I was think the same thing

By KK3137 | 31

#2985833 - Thursday 28 July 2011 11:31

Then get out there and get some skills... just saying. But pretty awesome talent! :)

By PapSmearNinja | 4

#2985865 - Thursday 28 July 2011 11:48

I can only accomplish this astonishing magnificent act while stoned/smoking weed or I epically fail.

By sourcherri23xx | 0

#2986006 - Thursday 28 July 2011 12:22

I love having that talent..talented toes rule :)

Mmaobsd74 | 0

#2987942 - Thursday 28 July 2011 18:49

By Bestbabyj | 1

#2986057 - Thursday 28 July 2011 12:31

Lol Funny AF!