Today, I found out that my old DVD player had stopped reading my DVDs. I had the dumb idea to stick my finger in there to see what the problem was. I found the problem, which was that my fingernail wasn't on my finger after doing that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML
Today, I reached in between the couch cushions to see if my iPod had slipped in there. I didn't find my iPod, but I did find an old utility knife blade. With my fingers. FML
Today, as I peeled a now soggy Band-Aid off my finger, I discovered that in the dim light of yesterday evening, I had, with great anxiety, wrapped it around the wrong finger. FML
Today, my son stuck coins in our DVD player. It would be cute if he wasn't 25. FML
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
Today, I saw a spot on my computer screen. I tried to use my finger to rub it off. Then, I tried using my nail. Then I tried to windex it off. I continued scratching at it with my nail. A half hour and one scratched screen later, I realized the spot was part of the webpage I was looking at. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML
Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML
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Top comments
Amanda Jaworski 23
So you’re the reason they put those warnings on everything...
kfchicken 31
the real FML is that you thought sticking your finger in a DVD player has a chance of fixing it...
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Comments (3)
Amanda Jaworski 23
So you’re the reason they put those warnings on everything...
BurnInDemonFire 39
We're not mad, we're just disappointed.
kfchicken 31
the real FML is that you thought sticking your finger in a DVD player has a chance of fixing it...