Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML
Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
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Top comments
Rockmannerman 2
There is nothing wrong with being pale! I'd rather be white as snow than look like a leather handbag!
Doortje 30
You should do the same with hairdye. Apply it, go to sleep, wake up hours later and discover your green hair. You'll look like a walking carrot!
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Comments (150)
Doortje 30
You should do the same with hairdye. Apply it, go to sleep, wake up hours later and discover your green hair. You'll look like a walking carrot!
SneakBS 0
lol!
CommentKing207 23
OOMPA LOOMPA
mrahhhhh 21
YDI for tanning. Enjoy your melanoma, jackass!
cradle6 13
Wow, what an ignorant comment. 1. The girl wasnt even tanning, she used a sunless tanning lotion. 2. Human beings are meant to be in the sun, what do you think our ancient ancestors did? Hid under a tree their entire lives? Also vitamin D is essential to our lives, and even helps "cancel out" the negative affects of the sun.
DocBastard 40
Ancient humans also lived to be 35 or 40 years old. Fortunately for us MODERN humans, we have something that the ancient humans didn't have - medical science. We know that a lot of things that used to be thought of as beneficial aren't that good for you after all. Unfortunately for you, your comment is even more ignorant than mrahhhhh's.
RedPillSucks 33
Usually, when you're dying because you got trampled by a mammoth, or because you got an infection from some small cut that didn't heal, you don't worry about sun exposure. It wasn't until lifespans started getting above the half century mark that people started being concerned about stuff like cancer.
sandabelle25 0
dont forget the sun gives us Vit D which we need to be happy
kofinater 3
Well, ancient Humans did originate in Africa so they likely had dark skin like my self to protect from the sun. the op is from Denmark and is probably fair skinned because for her more recent ancestors' pale skin would be advantages for the cold, sun deprived climate.
mrahhhhh 21
Oh man, I made a mistake bad... "embarrased" Sorry OP, but still, being tan is not as beautiful as you would think. Despite all the shows that portray us as evenly tanned supermodels, I can tell you that even here in Southern California, those with tans are seen as douchebags, idiots or both. And we got fat people too. Tans just aren't that great.
kittykail13 2
I don't know why anyone isn't just saying this.. Melanoma is caused by the suns rays. Not by lotion. Also, I have been tanning recently and have yet to be diagnosed with Skin Cancer.
kittykail13 2
WTF? I have visited California many times and no one ever talks about tan people being douche's, or idiots. That is so judgmental, rude, and untrue.
cradle6 13
Just go outside for 15 minutes each side a day. Not that hard
SmallTownCutie 0
doesn't always work.
cradle6 13
Takes consistency. You can't do it for a week and give up.
SmallTownCutie 0
I was out all summer. It depends on the person. I don't tan well.
xFalzz 0
Also, Oompa*
Ninjafriends 1
The only way to fix this problem is to draw some black stripes on yourself and start your new life as a tiger.
Calyx_fml 22
You missed a spot on your back. Its in the shape of a toilet plunger.
iluvfmls456 0
ydi. that stuff never works.
stevenmx86 8
No shit what did you think would happen?
InBetweenDreams 0
Snooki!! :P You should go to the Jersey Shore where you'll blend in with all the other orange people. :P
furburger 0
Orange you glad she didn't say Banana? But, seriously, self-confidence doesn't come in the form of a rub-on tan. You either got it or you want it. Can't buy it.