Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML
Today, my wife has quit smoking weed. Now she can stay up all night, whereas before she fell asleep around 9 almost every night, so now I get absolutely no time to myself. FML
Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML
Today, I saw my boss, so I mentioned to him, "Oh, I quit." He then interrupted, saying, "Great, I was going to fire you this week anyway." I wanted to tell him I quit smoking. FML
Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML
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Top comments
incognito1520 20
She's just trolling you.
21jason 9
At least she didn't decide to quit having sex!
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Comments (140)
tinysocks 11
Who decides to start smoking?! Is she 13 and trying to get in with the popular kids at school??
Myo_fml 20
Unless she smokes outside, your lungs will still take a beating only now you get to inhale unfiltered smoke. Yum.
alycion 39
Smokers who don't smoke outside are rude if they live with non smokers. Besides, I don't want my animals getting sick, my electronics destroyed, and my place stinking. When I do kick this horrid habit I regret ever picking up, it will he nice not to have to put up with the remnants of it.
KimmieKat 0
Oh wow ;) lol. She might just be 'pretending' to see if you will crack and keep smoking? Probably not but I'm just throwing out suggestions :)
sweetpea41800 0
Why would she make a dumb decision like that "oh ya I'm just gonna start smoking and kill myself"
Stupend0us 7
Give her something else to stick in her mouth... Like your penis.
perdix 31
Why let all of your nice cigarettes go to waste? Also, she's been kissing your disgusting, smelly mouth for years. She just wants to return the favor;)
DeboDaGreat 3
RESIST TEMPTATION
nerdlyfe101 4
Best thing you can do is try and motivate her to stop. Especially if she has stopped for a bit. You have to fight to win over your addictions, giving up isn't a option. Plus you can motivate each other .
wittygirl 8
Damn karma is a bitch.. Get them electronic cigarettes they work wonders :3
gossipgirl3_fml 2
Is it impossible to spell correctly?
Zomg_Okay 27
Yesh
Haha_oh_wait 4
C-o-r-r-e-c-t-l-y
Zomg_Okay 27
I think you may have missed the point of my comment.