By Michelle - 26/04/2010 21:42 - New Zealand

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash a KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 703
You deserved it 17 344

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MermaidSongXOXO 6

This is the kind of FML that you can't really blame the OP at all. It's actually really inspiring that you decided to quit smoking :) Quitting is tough, and it takes a while to get out of the habit (hence trying to ash a kitkat bar). But, I, and I'm sure a lot of other FML users, are proud. Fun fact: every cigarette you smoke takes eleven minutes off your life.

good job on quitting good luck


PandasRtheShit 0


luis420 0

my friend did that once he thought he was smoking

Haileyw15 0

Smoking is so gross xP

Hey, at least you decided to quit smoking. Don't worry about your habits going away so soon. Good luck.

nates0210 0

do you bite cigarettes? because... that's weird.

PandasRtheShit 0

smoking is nasty

gzmn91 6

Agreed #8 People should learn to do other things to relieve stress because it can do serious damage.

agreed! so gross!!

ya nasty weed Is much better

Haileyw15 0

Yeah and not only does it do damage health wise, but it makes you smell awful! x.x

FMLRevoluSean 0

In soviet Prussia, kitkats smash you! Dafp.

don't quit smoking man! once obamacare kicks in you won't have to pay for any of the medical problems you might get down the road! I want me some obamamoney

luis420 0

fail soviet Russia joke

FMLRevoluSean 0

Smokin' doesn't make you smokin' hot!

crazybabesam988 0

ha! great!

Blue_Coconuts 7

Hey, I used to smoke!

FMLRevoluSean 0

I don't think they have Obamacare in New Zealand. Dafp.

YDI for buying a kitkat bar get a butterfinger

luis420 0


smoking is N-a-s-t-y. nasty. ewie.

after taking a bite? did you used to eat cigarettes? good thing you're quitting that

FMLRevoluSean 0

KitKats are ****** Nasty I agree with story get yourself some real candy.

I commend you for trying to quit though.

PandasRtheShit 0

:O I got first?!? I would like to thank all the little people, and snickerdoodles, and fmylifesrsly, and COOKIES o.O

clivealmighty 0

thats good that you quit but youre x3 bravo

Haileyw15 0

51, and Hailey *cough*

fun fact: When you smoke you are not the one smoking. The cig is the one smoking, you're just the sucker. :)

"Smoking is a terrible, terrible disease..." * **pulls up collar-- hunches shoulders-- turns around and walks away into the snowy night*

pink_mx_braap 0

ick at least you're trying maybe you could be on those dumb commericals that say learn to live again without a cig....

Haileyw15 0

Haha :)

FMLRevoluSean 0

Yyou doont alllwayys diee fruum ttobaaccoo, Suumtimes youu jjusst loosse a luung. Yyou doont alllwayys diee fruum ttobaaccoo, Suumtimes theey jjusst riip outt yerr tonguue.

FMLRevoluSean 0

Ugh, didn't work how I wanted it can't make that accent in text.

go natural man, ****** tobbaco has all sorts of chemical shit in it. green is the way! legalize it!

you_and_me_fml 8

agreed smoking is grosss. there are muchh cooler ways to die (:

sertralinaa 2

#1 is cute. And I hardly ever say compliments to anyone.

FMLRevoluSean 0

I want to die in a high speed chase on my hundredth birthday.

KiddNYC1O 20

second hand smoke ftl!... ftl!

in philly smoking is what everyone does. but not me I'm too cool

girls smoking is a turn off stupid anti flood

87 i love ur picture

spidergirl41 0

oh wow. i wonder if the OP kept eating it? mmmm

Pull the trigger Clark, pull the trigger! trust me that sock you stuffed into that speedo doesn't feel pain :}

FMLRevoluSean 0

110- that's what she said! Dafp!!!!!

what do you see I smoking? it's so gross! :P blech

KiddNYC1O 20

117- you look like a startled natalie portman

thank you 27-finally :P that soviet Russia joke is pissing me off...

sertralinaa 2

Lol as for me, I like soviet Russia jokes :D maybe because I live in Moscow.

oh boo ******* hoo. we do it because we know it causes damage.

soty isnt it your bday today or soon?

120 haha thank you!

btw you look like a coffee shop xP

Blue_Coconuts 7

// Haha, that made me chuckle... I don't see the Natalie Portman though... But she doesn't have a cute thing going on, so it works.

FMLRevoluSean 0

Ha soty I'm older!

Hated_By_FML 0

ydi cuz cigarettes are stupid, the better choice is some old fashioned reefer

RaIeigh 0

I dunno. I can see the Natalie Portman. Although it would be Natalie Portman from the movie Brothers..not Natalie Portman from V for Vendetta

137 I don't care what people think of me especially since ill probably never meet anyone here.. big deal

KiddNYC1O 20

hahaha. Natalie portman's cute!

are you calling me cute or ugly?? I don't get what your trying to say...

Blue_Coconuts 7

I didn't say you were ugly, I said I didn't see the Natalie Portman. I said you did have a cute thing going on though, jeeeeesh, so hostile, I was trying to be friendly. And I agree, Natalie Portman is cute.. And the only thing I've seen her in is Star Wars, and honestly, I just skip to the end of those movies where everyone is fighting and the movie is actually exciting, so meh...

Hey man good best of luck trying to quit!

FreeRunn3r 12

That's what you get for trying to quit!

RaIeigh 0

Natalie Portman is pretty..if you were referring to my post .

152 sorry you said "she doesn't have a cute thing going on" so I thought you were insulting me

KiddNYC1O 20

idk. Natalie portman's cute... I said you look like a startled NP, from what I see, that comes down to you being cute lol

161 that made my day.. it's 9 at night and a comment from someone I don't know made my day.. wow

Blue_Coconuts 7

Oh, that was a typo, sorry.. I meant you say you DO have a cute thing going on. :P Also, I'm insulted. You don't wanna meet a stranger from the internet?! And here I thought everyone wanted to meet me... Maybe you just don't know it yet though.... Hmmmm


FreeRunn3r 12

I'd rather smoke and keep my braincells,****** pot heads now adays! Plz no comments bout weed or it's suppousable benifits,I'd rather have a higher IQ than be an idiot laughing at YouTube videos about ppl gettin hit in der nuts*huck yuck* Maybee you should try some crack it'll reverse your weight gain from all the munchies.

163 sorry but no (:

can someone please explain how this is even a big deal

FMLRevoluSean 0

Potheads are usually smart & skinny.

KiddNYC1O 20

162- I'm kind of a big deal so feel lucky. haha jk. glad I made your day though =]

FreeRunn3r 12

I doubt that,I really do.

Blue_Coconuts 7

Woah, KIDNYC, that's my job, I'm the big deal around here. I have a fan group and everything, true story. Okay, maybe I don't, but I could make one and have like 15 people join it, so there!

JustinBieberIsOK 0


Neither of you are big deals. Cry.

Haileyw15 0

ACTUALLY, Colin is a big deal. So, fail.

KiddNYC1O 20


Blue_Coconuts 7

183, and 184 both rock, they're both part of my epic fan base, it's growing by the minute.

Haileyw15 0

Lmao (:

KiddNYC1O 20

Natalie? lmao

198 is that my name now? or were you talking to someone else lmao

I can fly and you can't. Also, I am really awesome.

sugarbabyxoxo 2

mmm cigarettes! I'm smoking right meow. haha that's funny op, not really an fml it's funny.

51- I love yr shirt haha

Smoking is ****** awesome dont diss smokers they will beat the **** out of u lol

Blue_Coconuts 7

Jimmy, I just shaved my beard, I was growing it for the Kings beard-a-thon (started growing when they clinched the playoffs) but they got eliminated from the playoffs last night... It was a good run though, and they're a young team with a lot of talent, so the fact they made it that far (when they hadn't been in almost 10 years) is great. :) Also, sugarbaby, what do you smoke? You strike me as someone who'd smoke those pink Camels. All my chick friends smoke those... Or those cigarettes that you can break the ball in the filter and they turn from regular into menthol (so you can pick what one you want, it's actually pretty cool)..

KiddNYC1O 20

206- that's your name now

206 haha fine by me

oops I meant 220 :P

Mmmmmm yellow teeth...that's what I like.

FMLRevoluSean 0

Mmmmmm crickets...that's what I like.

KiddNYC1O 20


youandme4ever_fml 0

I agree with #8! Smoking is for lonely people!

epoh_fml 0

Jimmy I couldn't imagine you with a beard. you're way too sweet and innocent looking to grow a beard. and hey people! I have the house to myself tonight. party over here :)

ljsimons 0

I agree. #1 IS cute.

FMLRevoluSean 0

Yeah, 229 is pretty sexy, I'd hit that.

Blue_Coconuts 7

I was hoping so, after game 2 and 3 I had hope, but I had a feeling whoever won game 4 would win the series... Sucks. We need a more consistant goalie, Quick is good but he has too many days where is is just off his game... Ryan Miller is overrated too, he was great in the Olympics, don't get me wrong, but he has been horrible in the Playoffs.

blindyblonde13 0

57- hahahaha never thought bout it that way but its truee(:

Haileyw15 0

So would I Sean, so would I.

FMLRevoluSean 0

Yeah, he sure has a nice pussy.

Blue_Coconuts 7

I had an epic beard haha... If I grow a goatee and wear a beanie people say I look like Colin Ferrel... Maybe it's an Irish thing lol

I'm trying to quit smoking right now so I know how hard it is.. the kitkat thing definitely sounds like something I would do. oh and 178 you'd have 16 fans :D

clanceyrocks11 0


YDI for smokin cigs. They be nasty shit

KiddNYC1O 20

sorry but, definitely*

Blue coconuts, can I join?

Hailey how old are you? :)

The safe way is to roll up pine needles in paper than cut it into cog size. The only unhealthy thing is smoke inhalation. it does make a smell though...

I don't believe he was epic beard man

what branch of the military are u in coconuts?

redsox4021 0

nice banana hammock clark

tokintot07 0

well duh he thought he was smoking #6. haha that sucks tho.

Blue_Coconuts 7

I'm not in the Military anymore. Ex Army though... And it wasn't that great I guess, it was like Drew Doughty's, more scruff than anything. I don't grow facial hair easily. :( But it looked good, and was longer that anything I grew before.

Clark, there are so many things wrong with your picture

Blue_Coconuts 7

Oh and both Johnny and Cucumbers can be in my fan group!

who's fan club is it?

^^^looks stoned or dumb apparently he don't smoke weed so guessing the latter....

Blue_Coconuts 7

17 now. And it's a fan club for my fans! Because I'm that awesome. I'm so awesome when I get sad, I stop being sad and become awesome again. True story.

haha I'll join!! xD

MermaidSongXOXO 6

Ooohhh Oohhhh I want to be a part of Coconuts' fan club too :D All the cool kids are doing it ^_^

^^ haha that's the way to live life, do what allll the cool kids are doing

that was aimed at 165

Blue_Coconuts 7

I should make a facebook page ahahaha. Maybe I'll put the names in my profile.

redsox4021 0

4 every fan club there is an anti fan club. I will not lead the ANTI Blue_Coconut fan club! sign here x_________

redsox4021 0

now lead*

a quitter never wins and a smoker never quits. errr yeah.

ladypatience93 2

yea in with weed!

I actually get so annoyed at all you "Obamacare" people, Canada has GREAT benefits to healthcare, and all you damn Americans will really appreciate when it comes along.

Haileyw15 0

263, I'm 15 haha why?

Haileyw15 0

Colin, I'm number 1 in your fan group, just so you know.

haha wow people look quite older then they r

Blue_Coconuts 7

Fer shizzle. I'm gonna make a list soon. :P

hey blue I can't tell, is that an m4?

Blue_Coconuts 7

Yes it is.

Haileyw15 0

313, do I look older then 15 ? :o and I have to be at the very top Colin, because I'm special :D

thought so. looks pretty well equiped.

Blue_Coconuts 7

Well Haley (mfmylifesrsly) is gonna be first, you'll be the first for all the "normals" lol... Also, thank you.. I had an EoTech, Surefire, vertical grip, and a green laser on it.. The green laser was awesome, since you could see it no matter what, and it went damn near forever. When we'd bust into a room (usually kinda dark because the houses aren't well lit) and you shined it across the room... They'd drop so fast, it was great. And I have 30 people (including people who joined via PM/facebook! I added 3 people that haven't "confirmed" it yet, but I know they'll agree anyway. :P Totally making a list in my profile.

haha yes u do. I wilds guessed 16-17 lol

bezach 0

speaking of snicks did he/quit? I wanna sing the dead witch song from the wizard of oz!

would** And blue haha i'd laugh if I saw every1 drop. that had to be amusing

btw bezach I think snicks is a girl. Idk though I culdnt rly tell.

Blue_Coconuts 7

Yeah it was really funny.. Usually they just stand there and look at you stupid (unless they're enemy, then they usually stand there and look there stupid while they shoot at you)... But when you moved the laser across the room, they dropped instantly because they thought it would burn them and cut them in half. Hilarious. But we'd give jollyranchers to the kids in the houses for being good sports. Unless they're little assholes, but most of the time they're either quiet and reserved, or like to play with you. I once played with some little girl and her dolls for like 45 minutes while my platoon talked to the people. Then we played hide and seak, and I taught them the hokey-poky. I loved the kids. :D

haha now that made me laugh :) thank u mate. haha I love little kids. (unless they r completely bratty)

297 looks like my PE teacher.....

does any1 kno how to post the profile pics from the itouch? or is it even possible?

omg it's terrible nobody gives a flying **** if you try to ash a kitcat... there's no fml here

Haileyw15 0

336, no it's not :(

damn it. I was gonna put up a pic haha. eh oh well I'll do it sooner or later. but I'm younger then every1 anyways haha so I guess it doesn't matter

Haileyw15 0

How old are you?

only 13 turning 14 soon though

RaIeigh 0

#339 - You're not younger than me, so put it up :].

raliegh lol then ur alot younger then u look haha

Haileyw15 0

Haha Raleigh (:

well goodnite fml peoples. I shall act sophisticated as I announce my retirement for this night. and I have no ****** idea y I just talked like that

Haileyw15 0

343 haha you lol'd at my comment? And lmfao 349, night.

RKftw 0


**** soviet russia

RKftw 0

ay blue put me on it, your pic is badass. just hope this doesn't end up like snickerdoodles empire.

haha this one made me laugh my left ballsack off

iCrazie 0


yea I agree, what's up tho?

Sucks for you. I want to join too Blue D:

Blue_Coconuts 7

Hell yeah, what can I say? It's part of behind awesome. And with that being sadi ,in my not sober state of mind right now, it's beocming a very big challenge to type (I think I'm doing pretty oogood though!) but I added the newste people... If I spelled your name wrong left you you, etc, PM me and I shall fix in the morning! Godonight my minions.

austin95 0

90, haha nice

austin95 0


CookyMonsta 0

at least OP is quitting..

WolfsGuns 0

holly shit, soviet Russia will now be called prussia! you fail 24........

I've gotten 400 replies off a #1 comment, let's see if this blows by it or not

#121 ur pretty hot we should hook up

to the guy making the Soviet joke; Russia =/= Prussia

Op, smoking can be as addictive as heroin. Try rehab

FreeRunn3r 12

I dnt want to join,what's so big about blue,aside from it being an awesome color.

authorkid 2

28 r u a retard? it dsays he's from new Zealand. he's not getting stuff from Obama.

that's gunna be one helluva high!!!

samuel426 0

your a bitch for that

28 if u were Canadian we already have free healthcare haha

Crotcho_fml 0

that's happened to me so many times before lol

shammytroll 0

try the electronic cig if your having trouble quitting

ur a ******* dumbass! he could quit now.... and won't have to smoke ******* cigerettes thruuu his neck!!!

luis420 0

lol sucks I wanna quit too :(

luis420 0

my first time being 1 of the first comentots lol

Commentots? Does that come with ketchup?

doink 0

And a spork.

Don't forget lots of salt. Does this sound mildly cannibalistic yet? >_>

KiddNYC1O 20

bahahahaha. ****! =]

luis420 0

assholes lol jp sucks trying to type on itouch

KiddNYC1O 20

ey ****, you look nice in your pic btw... but you don't have to acknowledge that

lionandthelamb61 9

you're stupid and need to learn how to read

109, you're completely missing the point. this is an FML because the OP realized how addicted they were because they're so used to putting their cigarettes in ash trays and they accidentally did it with a similar sized object. so now they feel hopeless, like they won't be able to quit because they're just so focused on tobacco.

good for you. don't stop trying to quit

I quit years ago. Then relapsed, then quit again. The cravings never go and the smell of a freshly lit one makes my mouth water. Good luck though!

sertralinaa 2

reflex is a bitch

Fridiculously 0

I have cat-like reflexes. a dead cat, but a cat nonetheless.

redsox4021 0

failed attempt at humor

4th!! anyway yeah that sux. c this would be an even BETTER fml if, without looking, you had taken another bite :)

htownlove 0

haha fail..

fail ur 7th, nice try

lionandthelamb61 9

double fail!! not only are you not 4th, you're also retarded for being in such a rush to comment on this fml and get your idiotic words seen that you didn't properly read and realize that the op did not ash on her ******* candy bar!!! out of habit she thought it was a cig and tryed to ash it. idiot. no not her, you.

rachelxD 0

habbits can be a hard thing to break.

stiveg 0

at first I read "rabbits are a hard thing to break." and I just thought "oh my"

roaaaaaaaaar 0

rofl that's awesome

good job on quitting good luck

Yes, fyl indeed. Because your life would have to be f-ed in order to mistake a kitkat for a cigarette? I think things could be far worse my friend. This is not FML material in my opinion.

I agree. How does tapping a KitKat bar FYL?

Seriously. I quit and had similar problems. Just force of habit, not fml.

MermaidSongXOXO 6

This is the kind of FML that you can't really blame the OP at all. It's actually really inspiring that you decided to quit smoking :) Quitting is tough, and it takes a while to get out of the habit (hence trying to ash a kitkat bar). But, I, and I'm sure a lot of other FML users, are proud. Fun fact: every cigarette you smoke takes eleven minutes off your life.

luis420 0

that's bs the fun fact thing if that's the case then I should be dead in the next hour I smoke 2 n a half packs a day that's 50 a day

#47, It's not that 'you will die within the number of cigarettes you smoke today x 11 minutes', as you seem to be suggesting. It's that your life will be shorter by roughly 'number of cigarettes you smoke in your life x 11 minutes'. Of course it's not exact, and giving up smoking can allow your body to repair the damage done by smoking and get you closer to a normal expected lifespan.

That's nasty 47! Have fun with your death sticks, and the side of cancer. OP: It's good that you're trying to quit, though I hope you do, instead of just saying it.

clivealmighty 0

47, .-. :D you're going to burn in hell weeee!!! can i go to your funeral x3 itll be pretty ironic if he gets lung cancer and dies within the next week o 3o i think i just jynxed you D;

I know it's not easy to give up, I smoke myself and I know how difficult it is. You could just try cutting down a bit to start with; even that will be better for you. And everyone else giving #47 a hard time, maybe give him a break? He knows smoking is shitty but giving up isn't as easy as some people seem to think.

luis420 0

yeah if smoking was easy everyone would quit

luis420 0

126 my hero lol

redsox4021 0

lol that's funny^^. the 11 minutes thing was by taking smokers and finding their normal life expectancy and then seeing how long they live. they then find how much they smoked on average a day. they are then able to see how much time was taken off their life by each cigeratte an averaging the group of people . it's not exact but u can gauarntee that smoking every day will lower your life expectancy. even if ur granma lived to 80 if she didn't smoke she probably couldve made it to 90.