Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML
Today, my wife has quit smoking weed. Now she can stay up all night, whereas before she fell asleep around 9 almost every night, so now I get absolutely no time to myself. FML
Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML
Today, I saw my boss, so I mentioned to him, "Oh, I quit." He then interrupted, saying, "Great, I was going to fire you this week anyway." I wanted to tell him I quit smoking. FML
Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
incognito1520 20
She's just trolling you.
21jason 9
At least she didn't decide to quit having sex!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (140)
melrose90210 10
She's gotta be screwing with you. Otherwise she's an idiot to START smoking at her age. (I'm assuming your over 18 since your married)
grannygruber 6
What a bitch. When my husband quit we told his friends that smoked they would have to smoke outside. Not been an issue. Tell your wife that you are trying to prolong your life by stopping so if she starts she has to smoke outside and she can't smoke in the car either!
vintage3113 6
In my experience, the key to quitting smoking for good is to try as hard as you can not to think of the task in terms of the rest of your life (or however long you choose) but instead...listen to yourself scream inside of your head "I WANT A CIGARETTE!" and think to yourself "Mmm...not now." as opposed to "NEVER AGAIN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE." focus on the present moment. Find something that is actually worthy of your instinctual attention: the more you tell yourself not to smoke, the harder it becomes. Good luck to you, man
platypus505 5
Dont you clean the area.arpund the toilet at all ?
JessicaSki 12
I'm having the opposite problem...
elmousey 5
Does it really matter? You guys(smokers) quit like every other week and pick it back up whenever you drink alcohol.
arthurlikestrain 0
On the bright side, her starting shouldn't really cost you guys any more than you were already spending! -_-'
Gottobekiddingme 7
She smoked all along.
Bigboned38 0
It's hard enough to quite, it's impossible when your wife smokes and leaves them in the house. Good luck
Anonymoouse_fml 0
"yeah I'm just going to start smoking for no reason"