Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML
Today, my wife has quit smoking weed. Now she can stay up all night, whereas before she fell asleep around 9 almost every night, so now I get absolutely no time to myself. FML
Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML
Today, I saw my boss, so I mentioned to him, "Oh, I quit." He then interrupted, saying, "Great, I was going to fire you this week anyway." I wanted to tell him I quit smoking. FML
Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML
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Top comments
incognito1520 20
She's just trolling you.
21jason 9
At least she didn't decide to quit having sex!
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Comments (140)
JustDerpin 11
How ironic.
macdaddymady 8
All I can say is stay strong, and it'll all be worth it in the end.
elephantom12 9
Your picture Is fake. Not you.
hellaflushfa5 6
I bet you didn't get those thumbs up because people liked what you said. Except for him^^
Dracoboxer357 36
119, are you claiming your pic is of you? ;) I was there for the last 50+ reply war over her pic being real or not, she changed it up in poses we suggested like 8 times in one day. It's easier to just accept that it is her, since it can't be disproved and she offered compelling evidence otherwise. (Even though you probably found a site with her pic posted up, right? Yeah, that came up before too.) :) And really, does it matter if it's not? :)
elephantom12 9
Lol it was a joke, I was there a few weeks ago when people were accusing her that the picture was fake.
Dracoboxer357 36
129- Ah, my bad, I missed that you were kidding. ;) Sorry.
sweetdreams20 0
Well is she the one who originally wanted you to quit
JustDerpin 11
Now where did it say that?
sweetdreams20 0
That's why I asked
THE_A_TEEN 28
You didn't "ask" anything. You put down a straight foward, punctuated-less sentence. ...and nowhere on the FML did it say OP wife wanted him to quit, that was OP's decision. Quit pulling information from that tiny arse-hole...
sweetdreams20 0
That's why I said it in a form of a question just without question mark don't comment if Your just gonna put people down
sweetdreams20 0
And at least my ass hole is tiny.. Yours is stretched from having your head in it for so many years..
McAninch35 9
First off, punctuatION-less, 43. Second, theres a fine line between grammar nazi and ********. Remember that, my friend
THE_A_TEEN 28
Well I went back and re-read your comment, and let me say I owe you an apology. I'm sowwy. (big puppy dog eyes) 8'(
sweetdreams20 0
No problem :)
1happymummy 14
What a supportive wife! Good for you though :)
DocBastard 40
You finally came to your senses. She obviously lost her ******* mind. Dip all her cigarettes in the toilet. She'll decide to quit quickly guaranteed.
b0ngs 7
I bet theres more shit in cigarettes then there is in the toilet. Why the hell would someone even pick up smoking nowadays? Its not even cool and its just nasty as trash.
sweettpie129 11
Haha his name is bongs and were talking about smoking... FAIL
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
i hate to say it but if someone dipped my cigarettes in a toilet I'd probably just go get more :/
cBlackout 13
Smoking is disgusting.
DrMime 10
Awwww! Now you two can get the couples chemo discount :D
mckibben 7
You're a dick.
ProhibitionRose 14
Ahh but he's a funny dick
Caliborn_06 11
Again your ****** stupid
TheSmoothDude 10
Don't let her.
Enslaved 38
She'll regret it, you won't.
ninjuh_wingman 29
If she smokes, then its f her life since shes gonna **** herself up. You were smart so good for you.
awwwyeah_png 4
You're obviously either a single troll or a heartless partner. Ouch for either one...