Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML
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Top comments
MermaidSongXOXO 6
This is the kind of FML that you can't really blame the OP at all. It's actually really inspiring that you decided to quit smoking :) Quitting is tough, and it takes a while to get out of the habit (hence trying to ash a kitkat bar). But, I, and I'm sure a lot of other FML users, are proud. Fun fact: every cigarette you smoke takes eleven minutes off your life.
ninja_dino 0
good job on quitting good luck
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Comments (412)
Jones30 0
heyy, at least your tryin right? gotta start somewhere
88sforlife 0
Nasty
urlifesfed 0
I don't know... this one doesn't really fall into either category. not really fml. not really ydi. it's just funny.
Samee93 0
Omg I can relate to that... so many times over =] be strong. And its not an urban legend that weed gets laced with other drugs, I have seen people by sticks for more than double the normal going rate because its laced with ecstasy.
Stotan1228 0
No kidding, i've gotten weed laced with nasty shit like heroin. Not intentionally but it happens. That's why people should get a green card if you have medical in your state or just buy from a dealer you know won't **** you.
fuckmalyfe 0
I'm sorrrryyy but I jusssttt laughed my ass off I had the same thing happen to me the other day except I literally took out a lighter and tried lighting my kit kat Lmfao!!! people were like sittin there saying " WTF! what a dumbass " it was so embarrasing !!!!
JayAustin 0
I do that all the time
mrmerino 0
how is this FML? it's a person breaking a disgusting habit and finding residual actions
ladeizy 0
kit kat nooo!!!
Cshaw6215 5
Too funny!
lonewolf532 0
damn now thats a problem