Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML
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Top comments
MermaidSongXOXO 6
This is the kind of FML that you can't really blame the OP at all. It's actually really inspiring that you decided to quit smoking :) Quitting is tough, and it takes a while to get out of the habit (hence trying to ash a kitkat bar). But, I, and I'm sure a lot of other FML users, are proud. Fun fact: every cigarette you smoke takes eleven minutes off your life.
ninja_dino 0
good job on quitting good luck
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Comments (412)
babyteef 0
smoke weed instead.
sertralinaa 2
Nasty. Drugs suck! except for some stimulants lol
McBoogerballs 0
lol you're so dumb. weed is only a drug because the government tells you it is.
sagwaagua 0
nope. it alters your mind.
Stotan1228 0
So does alcohol and caffeine and yet they aren't illegal and are possible to overdose on. Unlike cannabis. Well it is technically possible if you smoked 1500 lbs in about 15 minutes. You'd die from oxygen deprivation long before you overdosed though.
sertralinaa 2
Who said caffeine isn't a drug?
sertralinaa 2
and thanks for having my eyes opened, Mcboogerballs, I studying in a medical uni, sure don't know better than you.
supershaw 0
yep been there dude keep strong
kitt_en 0
Oh, your life must be just awful... /sarcasm lol.
steve_jobs_fml 0
you can also try those nicorette nicotine patches... they'll help you quit. that's how I quit. (generic ones don't work though)
Randen_fml 0
soo were you able to ash it?
fartstar 0
smoking is payin' respect to da man. da man is rich enough already. Everyone quit now! Good luck in quitting. Peace
QueenDani 0
lmao that's hilarious
camsham86 0
How is this even an FML? LAME.
vannadoll 0
ha ha wow;!!!
imamouseDAH 0
NIIIIICE.