Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
A golden vibrator retriever
iamchuck 0
Man's best friend found woman's best friend.
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Comments (134)
pooper191817 0
now that's ****** breath
clownman 0
awww how adorable!
EvilDave 13
YDI for not putting your sex toys away. Did your parents teach you anything?
DarkHelmet 10
why the hell would you leave it out in the open for anyway?? I thought women had hiding places for shit like that. YDI
imcutefml 0
my thoughts exactly
alex1432 9
Yea it's called a cooch
EvilDave 13
Or, the dog could have been out in the back yard leaving a shit, or playing, or whatever. Dogs don't need to be inside with the humans 100% of the time.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Holy shit! EvilDave and I made the same point. This is surely a momentous occasion. ;)
rainbowdrive 5
Sooooo, do you leave your vibrator just hanging around, or was your puppy somehow privvy as to it's exact location? Either way, that really blows. Right now I'm feeling that YDI. That could change later though.
LOLSWAT 0
if it likes the taste... lets just say u can teach it things :)
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
At least the dog didn't have it in the other end.
NightWatch 0
Looool, YDI for leaving it in such an accessible place. Fail.
pattipan 7
I hope you cleaned it thoroughly before using it again. Dogs eat poop so whatever was in his mouth went up your ******. E. coli, here she comes!