Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
A golden vibrator retriever
iamchuck 0
Man's best friend found woman's best friend.
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Comments (134)
nathan5 0
#34, cats like fish, not dogs....:D
DerFuhrer33 0
yum
perdix 31
You need to keep the puppy in his crate and your vibrator in your box. Your guest won't be disturbed and will wonder why you moan at all his jokes.
DncrHap 9
exactly. magic bullet belongs in a woman 24/7. why take it out?
Lythiaren 8
YDI for leaving it in a place where he could get it. It's called puppy proofing. You should've done it when you first decided to get a dog.
daven_fml 0
I agree, it he can get to that what else is that precious pup going to get into.
whoisthisgirl 4
ray! gotta love puppies :)
madarchod 0
He is saying that now he is here, you don't need the vibrator
joshlambert991 0
haha that blows big time. atleast it wasn't your parents
joshlambert991 0
haha that blows big time. atleast it wasn't your parents
imright24 0
Maybe he wanted to play "find the toy" again.
elmorous 0
as he's chewing it wahhhhhhhhh-oooooooo-wah-oooooo-wahhhhh